The Click-Bait Headline Thread

I absolutely KNEW it

Disney World Neglected Theme Park, Monorail System Inspections for Years, Report Claims – Thousands Endangered (Because of DeSantis' nonsense, the state now has the authority to inspect the WDW monorails)

New EPCOT Attraction Ruins the Magic for Hundreds (Remy's had a downtime that may have dumped the queue)

Disney Castle Falling Apart, Desperately Needs Permanent Fix (the castle at Disneyland Paris could use a paint touch up on one of the spires)

Woman Assaulted and Murdered at “Disney” Castle (A terrible incident took place at Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany)

Disney World at Risk as Severe Virus Spreads Through Florida Children (An isolated case of measles was contracted by an elementary aged student in Manatee County Florida, which is approximately two and a half hours from Orlando)

Disney’s Controversial Coaster Future Confirmed, Lawsuit Verdict Arrives (Rock N Roller Coaster is still themed to Aerosmith)

Disney World Guests Warned About Sexually Transmitted Disease on the Rise - Education, Prevention, and Remaining Vigilant During Your WDW Vacation (Syphilis is on the rise and we're just a few weeks away from Spring Break)

"Remember folks, the Magic Kingdom is a park for making memories, not a park for making families."

You know, some of these stories might be interesting if the headline wasn't so misleading.

That's kind of the point of the headlines. Misleading you into thinking there's more there.

LostKause:

You know, some of these stories might be interesting if the headline wasn't so misleading.

The ones from actual stories copy/paste a few quotes and insert it between seemingly endless paragraphs of text stating basic facts like "The Walt Disney World Resort has four theme parks, two water parks and is a family destination known around the world!"

Again, it's written for search engines, not humans.

BrettV:

Disney World Guests Warned About Sexually Transmitted Disease on the Rise - Education, Prevention, and Remaining Vigilant During Your WDW Vacation (Syphilis is on the rise and we're just a few weeks away from Spring Break)

Rise Of The Resistance (to antibiotics)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.go...MC9785152/

Guests Trapped Aboard Classic Disney Ride in Chilling Malfunction (one of the show scenes in Carousel of Progress was having audio issues, but since it's a rotating theater on a timer, the guests were not able to bypass the scene. CoP is also a fantastic way to cool off in air conditioning on hot days. Some might say the theater is chilled)

Disney World Attraction Overflows After Seasonal Update (many of the spring flowers and crops have been planted in Living with the Land. Some might even say it is overflowing with color and vibrancy)

Galaxy’s Edge Closure Imminent, Reopening Uncertain (Rise of the Resistance had a lengthier than usual downtime the other day. The entire Galaxy's Edge area of the park closes at the end of each operating day)

Knott’s Berry Farm Announces Its Total Closure Just Hours Before Opening (Climate change is doing wild things with California weather. Sometimes it's so bad that Cedar Fair closes Knott's for the entire day, much to the chagrin of super7)

EPCOT Attraction Evacuated After Emergency Situation (Frozen Ever After had to evac when the boats backed up and triggered a ride stop)

Genie+ Fiasco Ends With Mother in Tears, Separated From 3-Year-Old (Dad and daughter rode a ride while mom cried on Tiktok because she didn't buy Genie+ and thought she'd be able to get on the rides anyway)

10 Hurricanes to Hit Disney in 2024, Severe Threats Predicted by Expert (Hurricane season runs June 1-October 30)

Instagram Immediately Removed at Walt Disney World, 300,000+ Kicked Out (There was a Facebook/Instagram outage yesterday)

Disneyland Park Bridge Collapses in Front of Guests (A small area of pathway near a bridge at Disneyland could use a facelift)

Entire Disney Resort Goes Dark, Immediate Shut Down Required (Aulani had a short power outage)

Disney Closing Iconic Pirates of the Caribbean Ride in 2024 (Pirates at Disneyland Paris has a two week refurbishment on the books)

Disney Removes Fireworks From Nighttime Show, Issues Warning to all Guests (Disneyland Paris added a nightly second showing of its nighttime show. Because the second showing is so late at night, a few of the pyrotechnic effects aren't part of the show to avoid noise disturbances at the nearby resort)

Multiple Universal Attractions Set to Close Soon, Guests to Be Notified (Universal Orlando has a refurbishment schedule published on the website)

Crowds Swarm Disney Park Despite Multiple Warnings (It's Spring Break)

Disney Proposes Original Pirates of the Caribbean Attraction Demolition (Anaheim's planning commission recently approved an initial plan for a Disneyland expansion. POTC sits on a portion of the 488-hectare Disneyland property)

Disney Makes Dramatic Ticket Price Change as 7 Million+ Enter Orlando (Dynamic pricing goes into the higher tiers during Spring Break)

Disney World Makes Final Decision: Changes “Creepy” 42-Year-Old Ride (During a 2007 refurbishment on Spaceship Earth they moved an animatronic)

“Minnie Mouse” Taking Smoke Break Goes Viral (Characters on the Vegas Strip and Times Square aren't held to the same standards as the characters inside the Disney Parks)

Universal Traps Guests for Over an Hour in “Nightmare Scenario” (Rides occasionally stop)

Disney Dad Forces Child to Publicly Urinate on Attraction, Risks Jail Time (A guy had his kid pee on a construction wall advertising Tiana's Bayou Adventure to stick it to the woke libs that closed Splash Mountain)

Okay, I actually want to seek out that last story!

[Edit: You'd think I'd learn....]

(Also, they only posed like they were peeing.)

I happen to have a true I Saw Pee at Disneyland story.
In all my Disney trips I had never ridden Dumbo and on one of my few Disneyland trips I decided to climb aboard the OG Dumbo. So we waited in a fairly long queue which ended at a little gate in front of a super cute tented ticket booth with a little fake window. We were second in line and the guy ahead of us was a dad with his very young son. I watched the Dumbos fly around knowing we were next but oblivious to the dad who was on his phone who was oblivious to his kid who was peeing all over the cute ticket booth and all over the entrance leaving a big puddle in front of the gate. I was jolted awake by a woman who was yelling “Sir! Sir! Your child is urinating on the ride!” The guy said “Aw s**t”, scooped his boy up and jumped over the rail and was gone. So the real dilemma came when the little gate opened and we had to leap over a big puddle of pee to get to our Dumbo. Which is exactly what I did. I had waited so long and I wasn’t about to miss my one and only Dumbo ride. I’m quite sure in this case the dad didn’t have an anti-woke agenda- just a kid who couldn’t wait.

BrettV:

pee on a construction wall

RCMAC:

I happen to have a true I Saw Pee at Disneyland story.

During my years as a Cast Member I saw it happen a few times. Always in a long line for a ride. Always parents telling the kid to do it because they "already had waited this long" and weren't going to lose their spot in line. (Which, of course, had they just come and found me they wouldn't have)

Disney Leaves Unacceptable Characters in Park Despite Coast to Coast Elimination (Song of the South is mentioned in the 'Walt Disney: One Man's Dream' exhibit at Hollywood Studios)

Disney Replacing Multiple Classic Ride Scenes Amid Undisclosed Closure (When rides close for refurbishment they often get fresh paint and other touch ups)

Disney Adds New Time Limit Rule to Theme Parks, Guests Must Leave to Avoid Fines (If Jeff drives his Tesla to Disneyland he will get charged an 'idle fee' if he stays plugged in too long)

Walt Disney World Theme Park Closed Effective Immediately (Typhoon Lagoon and Blizzard Beach swapped places on the closed for refurbishment status)

Disney Refuses Entry to Dozens of Guests Based on Their Appearances (If you try to use an Annual Pass that isn't yours, it might not work)

Disney World Creates New Problem, Effective for All Guests in 2024 (Genie+, Lightning Lane and Virtual Queues exist)

Guests Suspended Backwards on Disney World Ride (Big Thunder Mountain had a short lift stop)

I knew people believed headlines like these but never encountered it myself until a couple weeks ago. One of the guys who runs the social media accounts for my brothers Harley-Davidson shop follows me on Instagram and when I posted a picture of Cinderella Castle on my Story, he messaged me and asked about it burning down. He was surprised to see it fixed so quick because, "It was just on fire the other day". One of those pages posted a video of it "on fire", or rather the smoke blowing away after a pyro shot.

Shows just how well the headlines work. People scan headlines but don't click.

Last night, I saw a short video on Facebook about the castle burning down. The narrator claimed it was at Magic Kingdom in Orlando. They showed footage from the one that really burned. I investigated why I was seeing the video, and it was from a website that creates "satire". I don't think they know what satire is.

They just want the engagement on their post.