The Click-Bait Headline Thread

Iconic Disney World Ride to Close Permanently, Destruction Imminent (There are rumors that Dinoland at Animal Kingdom may receive an 'Encanto Land' style update and close or retheme Dinosaur. The piece opens with A longstanding attraction at Walt Disney World Resort is facing its final days and ends with Please keep in mind that this is just a prediction based on the latest leaks and developments at Walt Disney World Resort. Nothing has been confirmed from Disney, and everything in regard to a replacement is speculation, not an announcement from the company)

The funniest part of that whole thing is the idea that Dinosaur is iconic.

Disney could use "we're putting a section about a Latino family in a park called Animal Kingdom" to defend against charges that they're too woke.

Space Mountain Set To Be Demolished at Disney Park (Tokyo Disneyland is doing a total rebuild of their Space Mountain next year)

Jimmy Fallon Ruins Churro Experience (A guest complained the churros at the churro stand next to Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon at UO were stale)

New Virus Suggest Disney World Shut Down (There are rare mosquito-borne viruses in Florida. In an unrelated note, WDW closed for a few months in 2020 during the early stages of the pandemic)

Disney Removes Hilary Duff Entirely, Kicks Her Out of Company (A few years ago a Lizzie McGuire reboot was floated around. It didn't happen)

Jimmy Fallon would ruin my every experience.

I beg to differ; this stuff is completely addictive.

RCMAC:

Jimmy Fallon would ruin my every experience

This makes it seems like he definitely ruins the experience for his staff.

Disney Shuts Down Theme Park, Details Finally Revealed (Universal Studios Japan closed for a day a few weeks ago for a typhoon)

Social Media Star Dies at Walt Disney World (Social media 'star' lays down in front of Mickey Mouse and pretends to be a dead for a photo)

This one makes me hate the world.

Disney World Attraction Closes Down Indefinitely After an Unknown 700-Minute Disturbance (After a nearly 12 hour operating day, Slinky Dog Dash closed for the evening)

Universal Resort Parking System Leads to Multiple Car Accidents, Report Claims (I-4 sucks during rush hour. HHN traffic makes that even worse)

‘What’s the Point of Paying Full Price?’ – Numerous Universal Attractions Close Down (Outdoor rides and attractions can't stay open in thunderstorms. And The Mummy went down for a bit on a day there was a storm)

This is more of a compare/contrast for the current bear sighting at Magic Kingdom. See if you can find the outlier.

Website # 1: Bear in a tree at Magic Kingdom closes more than 10 Walt Disney World rides and attractions

Website # 2: Real Bear in a Tree Reportedly Causes Adventureland, Frontierland, and Liberty Square to Fail to Open With the Park

Website # 3: Wild Bear Breaks Into Disney World and Wreaks Havoc in Magic Kingdom

This is a good one too: WILD ANIMAL Infiltrates Magic Kingdom; Three Lands ENTIRELY SHUT DOWN and BLOCKED OFF

Disney World Blocks Guests From Entering (Epcot reservations are limited for some dates around the opening of the new Moana walk thru attraction. Of course these days you can still go even without a reservation after 2pm)

Disney Repairs EPCOT Attraction After Years of Injuries (Figment fell during the new meet and greet a few times last week. Some changes have been made to the costume)

Universal “Atrocity” Sees Grave, Toxic Allegations Prompt Ride Closure (Jimmy Fallon has been in the news for some not so great things about the working environment at The Tonight Show. In an unrelated note, the 'Race For New York' attraction is not open during Halloween Horror Nights as they use the show building and queue area as overflow queue for one of the haunted houses)

Live Streamer Breaks California Theme Park Law, Immediately Gets Restrained (Someone was taking video they should not have been taking at the Knott's Scary Farm media preview and was asked to please refrain from taking video in the area)

Disney World Flooding Kills Multiple Attractions (We got some heavy rain last night here in Central Florida. Consequently, heavy rains = outdoor attraction closures)

Disney Coaster Locking Mechanism “Fails", Guest Confusion Incites Panic (Someone that was too tall to ride Rock N Roller Coaster could not get the harness to lock)

Disney Removes Air Conditioning From Rooms During Heat Wave (A few guests at Disneyland Paris had to change rooms at their resort because the AC had an outage)

Universal’s Wizarding World Shuts Down Attraction, Reopening Unknown (Forbidden Journey had a downtime yesterday)

Warning Issued, Attractions Pose Tetanus Threat to Guests (A guy smashed his arm into a fence near Tower of Terror and got a pretty big gash)

Disney Removes Iconic Part of Haunted Mansion Ride in Florida (a single doombuggy vehicle in the omnimover was removed, likely for maintenance, and someone snapped a photo of a row of vehicles with one missing, which isn't something that happens often)

Disney World Allegedly Dangerous for Guests Amid Lockdown Reports (A thread on another WDW forum was 'locked down' because participants got in an argument about COVID)

Disney World’s Most Divisive Ride Left Totally Empty (A couple got their own raft on Kali River Rapids on a slow day)

Thousands Mourn Disney Attraction, Immediately Removed Forever Following Explosion (Over the weekend, the final performance of the Disneyland Paris 30th Anniversary night show took place. The show ends with fireworks)

On the plus side, I'm seeing these less and less in algorithmic news feeds. Maybe Google has finally caught on.

I assume they’re just trolling Brett at this point.

I've been trolled by worse