Would you date/marry someone who doesn't like parks/roller coasters?

I've also noticed the hobby attracts a higher than average number of people on the autism spectrum (including what would previously be called Asperger's). I don't know if it's because of an interest in the engineering and physics of it, or what. Or maybe that's true of all hobbies people get obsessive about, and I've only noticed it with coaster enthusiasm because I follow it.

I've noticed that too. I'm no expert, but isn't it a hallmark of the autism formerly known as Asperger's that the individual can latch onto a subject or interest and make that his entire focus? I don't know if I'm saying it correctly, and I know the spectrum is wide, but I knew a young man with Asperger's who seemed to know everything about dinosaurs, and it was pretty much all he was ever capable of talking about, to the point of incessance. So I suppose you're right, the Dinosaur Enthusiasts have that guy, the Race Car Enthusiasts have theirs, and so on.

We've all known or run into those amusement enthusiasts who do nothing but talk and talk,... And talk... With no sign of ever shutting up about it. Not to be insensitive, and while we pride ourselves on being inclusive, an encounter with one of those guys (or gals, is suppose, but mostly guys) can be taxing.

Sure... I did. We used to all 3 of us go to parks as a family but they were never my wife's thing. A few years ago, we just stopped getting her a pass altogether and she spends more time with her own hobbies.

Now my son and I go by ourselves and it's our own father/son thing. We'll even take a weekend roadtrip once in a while.

She'll still happily go to a "something for everyone" park. (Disney, Legoland) For example, last spring break we flew out to AZ and CA. One of the days we all went to Legoland and had a great time. A few days later, we dropped her off at a nature preserve and she spent the day hiking and taking pictures while my son and I went to KBF. It really was a great arrangement.

On the flipside, last summer we were in the Dells and got a deal for $15 tickets to Mt Olympus. Since it was so cheap, she just came in with us instead of going off on her own. She was miserable, didn't ride anything, and kind of brought the mood down for me. (It didn't help that Mt O. is a miserable place to begin with.) My TR: http://coasterbuzz.com/Forums/Topic/tr---wisconsin-dells-7113

In conclusion, have a kid and train them young. Haha. I use my son as an excuse to indulge a lot of my inner child's needs. Coaster riding, opening day for all Transformer movies, etc.

Many flavors of autism include the obsessive quality, and indeed my own kid (diagnosed as relatively mild "vanilla" autism) would ride Thunder Mountain continually if he could. Mind you, he also has Sensory Processing Disorder, so his brain seeks out intense sensation. I don't think it will be hard to get him on rides when he gets older.

OhioStater said:

I'm not sure I'm following you here.

I can elaborate.

"I don't like amusement parks because they are childish" or some other notion that it's a hobby that's immature or otherwise for kids.

We're not going to date long. I also like animated movies, occasionally dining at McDonalds, and fart jokes. I mean....maybe we can deal with this, but this sort of attitude might create issues for us later.

"I think roller coasters are scary."

I mean....ok. Get over it, maybe? Do you find lots of other things scary? Do you live life being timid in general? This might make things tough.

"Amusement parks just aren't my thing."

I guess I could deal with this. Although I'd probably be interested really knowing why. You're also going to need to be ok with me visiting parks without you which is a little sad. Maybe you could come with me anyway and just tolerate it? I'd do the same for you, you know?

These are all hypothetical of course. Like I said, I'm married to a park nut so I'm having a hard time thinking of other reasons people don't like parks.

In the end though, relationships (to me) are clear, open communication and unconditional understanding and collaboration and all of that good stuff. So if I were with someone who didn't like parks it's sensible to think they'll be into things I'm not into. It's a give and take.

Would I date/marry someone who isn't into parks and coasters?

Not sure, to this point Drew Barrymore and Tina Fey haven't returned my calls... ;~)

It wasn't a deal breaker to me. I just happen to luck out. The first serious girl I dated loved parks and the woman I'm married to now still enjoys parks as well. I did it by being my weird ass self, doing what I enjoyed doing and I met them through what I enjoyed doing. So the DDR, bowling, amusement park, travelling, bar thing I did I was lucky enough to meet someone who enjoyed about 3 out of 5 of those things and she brought to the table her own interests. It gives us our own identities, a friendship and mutual respect for each other, and then the fun things that we enjoy together.

Finding balance should be what makes or breaks a relationship, instead of identical interests.

~Rob

Being gay myself, I must say I am surprised to hear that there are a lot of gay guys who are enthusiasts as some have said. Guess I will have to see how that plays out when I start going to enthusiast events :). I would also like to say it is great to hear that the community is accepting.

To get back on subject though. As some have said I feel like if someone doesn't share my interest in parks and coasters they most likely won't share my other interests either, but who knows. You have to look at how you spend most of your time and if a large portion of your time is spent at parks then a relationship with someone who has any less than half the passion you do probably isn't going to work, maybe it will? Everyone wants someone who shares common interests and I don't think it is picky to want that. Maybe the guy I am meant to love will have little to no interest in parks at all and it will be great? I feel however there would be nothing better than sharing my favorite hobby with the one that I love, only time will tell though :)

Keep on posting I enjoy hearing everyone's thoughts and opinions.

Events are very Gay.

Gays in the enthusiast community-It's something that's been discussed. Perhaps it's a predisposition?? :-P

It will never work out if the both of you have different hobbies. Mine lasted 10yrs before we called it quits. I used to get my kids season passes for both SF and Lake Compounce but once my kids were over 54 inches they wanted no part of LC and would get bored fast. They got spoiled to SF and CP and only wanted the big rides. I always tell people to never settle for someone who doesn't enjoy the same things you do because for every woman that doesn't, theres a million that do!

gamerguy said:

It will never work out if the both of you have different hobbies.

Speak for yourself. Everyone is different. My wife and I share very few common interests, and I've given up something I was very passionate about because it was causing a strain on the family. We're celebrating 10 years this May and we're still going strong.

Relationships are about love and compromise, not whether or not I can hit forty-seven parks every summer. If different hobbies are the cause of a relationship's demise, priorities need to be realigned.

A big NO for me. I have always had the firm belief that part of a marriage is sharing a passion with another person. Parks/coasters have always been a big passion in my life. So, my significant other would need to enjoy as well. She didn't need to be as hardcore as myself. But love to travel and ride. I wouldn't enjoy doing these things alone. I met my wife, for the first time, at Worlds of Fun and we clicked right away. I proposed to her on Magnum and then married on Voyage, which she will only ride a few times before heading to Raven.

I did.

She was terrified of the concept of ever riding a coaster, swore she never would.

Our honey moon was in Orlando and I got her to ride Kraken and shes been an enthusiast ever since.

CoffinBoy said:

A big NO for me. I have always had the firm belief that part of a marriage is sharing a passion with another person.

Just curious...couldn't you share a different passion, for something you have in common other than amusement parks (pets, sports, politics, stamp-collecting, whatever)...? Not trying to single you out, your comment just allowed me to focus on a particular point that had been slowly coalescing in my thoughts. Anyone can feel free to comment...

I'm with ya, Mr. Gator, 100%. I met my husband as a result of a common-interest hobby, just not this one. So we enjoy traveling for that activity together, and have a pack of friends that share the same passion. In addition to weekly gatherings here at home, we all visit a different city once a year for a national convention, take occasional weekend trips, and have a blast.

As for this hobby, he gave it the old college try, but its just not for him. The occasional trip to a place like Disney is something that we both really enjoy. He might visit a place like Cedar Point or Silver Dollar City for a day, but wont be caught traveling there for an entire week the way I do. If I want to pop down to Kings Island for the day, either by myself or to meet a friend, he's fine with that. For him the garden and yard work await, and he'd much rather invest time and money in his own hobby.

So it's all good. He travels a lot for his job, and would just as soon stay home with the dogs while I go on my silly park trips. And I stay home when he travels on his own to Louisville or Sedalia for the big livestock shows he enjoys. (ZZZZzzzzzz....)

In spite of our differences, there's similarities elsewhere and I will always believe I'm the luckiest boy on earth.

That's the thing, you can't really make generalizations. If I've learned anything about relationships, it's that any two people combined can be something totally different than if you paired them with others. I've known really kind, wonderful people who treated each other like total assholes, but when they dated other people, they were more like the people I knew. Chemistry is weird like that. Mix two delicious compounds and together they could be poison, or they could be super delicious.

My wife (of 8 years) calls trips to the parks "compulsory fun." She'll do it and likes it, but if it weren't for me, she'd probably never set foot in a park again.

We have a lot more important things that we prioritize together (like faith, service, and now kids) and our relationship is way more important than parks. That said, we do still take a trip or two per summer to go ride.

This & that....

The very first ACE Coaster Con I went to, which I believe was at Kennywood in 1991, I attended the business meeting. Someone asked why one of the membership classes got two copies of the club magazine, and the President responded something along the lines of the club having a lot of untraditional households, which was immediately followed by knowing laughter from the audience.

I have the autism formerly known as Asperger's, but roller coasters aren't really one of my "things" -- I just enjoy coasters. After I was diagnosed, my parents told me that before I even learned to read, I had them read S&H Green Stamps* catalogs to me instead of storybooks. After I learned to read, I would read them myself and memorize parts of the catalogs.

*Yes. I am very old. Gold stars to anyone who knows what S&H Green Stamps were.

If she can put up with the gravy stains that never come out, not matter how many time you wash it, she can put up with a coaster hobby.

I proposed to my wife after a day at Kennywood. This was before I could call myself an "enthusiast" as I hadn't been to Kennywood or any other park for years at that point.

It was years later---after we'd gotten married and had a couple of kids---that we went to Cedar Point for a long weekend. During that weekend (in the early '00s) my wife looked at Magnum and said "I will never ride that."

Since then, she has grown to love Magnum's airtime hills, but still refuses to ride Dragster (even after riding Xcelerator and loving it at Knott's.) She cried leaving Disneyland on the last day of our first "Disney trip" with the kids a few years later, and is an insanely passionate Disney Cruise Line fan, but on the other hand doens't feel the need to go back to a park anytime soon. She's ready to branch out.

So I'm not sure what this all means for your question.

What I do know: it is critical for each spouse to have their own comfortable-in-my-own-skin identity, to accept one another as they are, and accept one another as they want to be (not as you want them to be!)