UPDATED: President Obama announces bailout plan for Charmland

Posted Wednesday, April 1, 2009 12:00 AM | Contributed by Jeff

Despite the addition of more trees, aggressive promotion and solid attendance, Charmland today announced that it would not open for the 2009 season. Apparently the "Most Charming Park" award from readers of Amusement Today was not enough to sustain it.

Read more from the official Charmland USA site.

UPDATE 2:43p Eastern: Charmland has been purchased by a new owner with an aggressive capital expenditure program. Check the updated site.

UPDATE 10:02p Pacific: President Obama announces that the federal government will bailout Charmland after Five Flags failed to keep the park afloat. Visit the official site for the details.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009 3:00 PM

Mamoosh said:
I'd like to get an audible chuckle out of you! ;)

Just drop your drawers. ;)

Last edited by Lord Gonchar, Wednesday, April 1, 2009 3:01 PM
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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 3:03 PM

This isn't fair. Five Flags bought Charmland just to invest heavily into it and then they will level it because it is too close to their Flagship park Five Flags over Waldameer.

Last edited by Zakkster, Wednesday, April 1, 2009 3:04 PM
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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 3:30 PM

That's good stuff. I'm not sure what I appreciated more: the 49 cent discount given to American Charmland Enthusiasts or the $15 free parking.

Either way, I'd have to go for the $25.99 season pass. After all, I want to save some money for the No.2-Bot. Have you ever seen the lines for the ladies restrooms?

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 3:45 PM

Lol, $59.99 single day admission, $25.99 Season Pass.

"we were able to negotiate the purchase of Charmland for an astonishing price of $20.00 plus a Big Mac"

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 3:49 PM

^^^Ouch, Gonch...just plain ouch!

(still loves ya anyway)

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 3:50 PM

Jackassery at it's finest. Here's to you Blighty the Blightpost. Maybe they'll bring you back in a couple of years.

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 4:05 PM

Epic WIN.

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 4:05 PM

Couldn't resist, Moosh. :)

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 4:26 PM

Can't stop laughing! Great job on the updated site. I needed a good laugh today.

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 4:44 PM

^^Probably about as close as I'll get to "Couldn't resist Moosh."

;)

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 5:18 PM

And the joke just keeps getting better. This is truly amazing.
Free Parking.............$15.00

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 5:26 PM

Nuts. There goes my summer.

Wonder if TYS will find a new home . . . maybe over at Picnic Pavilion or Landfill Nature Park? I sincerely hope so. That is one of the oldest, and IMO greatest, monkey bar woodies still standing. For those of you who aren't acquainted with its history, TYS was designed, built, personally tested, and hand-moved so it wouldn't get in the way of that old stump by Jim "Schlepp" Schleppler back in 1928. It was one of the first side-friction eight-rungs to be built. The ride was originally called "Hand Over Hand", until the Great Depression Anti-Depravity Ladies' Auxiliary decided it was too suggestive, and after some controversy the attraction was renamed "Rocket Rung", a moniker which it kept until the late 60's -- or possibly the early 80's, nobody was really paying attention back then -- before finally receiving its last and current name of Test Your Strength. It's interesting to note that TYS had its uprights replaced in 1957 due to an unfortunate incident involving an overzealous colony of termites, while during restoration work some years later the laterals and rungs were completely replaced as well. Which means that nothing of the original TYS actually exists, only its continuing position in space and time. (Except, of course, for the minor fact that the rebuilt TYS was then moved approximately ten meters to the south when a new sewage line to the lake was put in.) Nevertheless, in our hearts it will remain a historic classic -- Test Your Strength. Er, Hand Over Hand. Whatever.

Correction: only the south end uprights were replaced in 1957. The north end uprights were redone completely in 1959 when the original "verts" were stolen, possibly by a sodden group of frat-boys from a university down the road that shall remain nameless. Sorry, should've done my research right the first time.

Last edited by Ensign Smith, Wednesday, April 1, 2009 5:29 PM
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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 5:49 PM

I love the 'fastpass' seating on the tire swinger.

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 6:35 PM

This is classic - thank you. I made the mistake of reading this at work today and got into trouble because I couldn't stop laughing. The flame thrower over the slide was priceless. Now if only Blighty can get his job back as a ride op, all will be well in the world.

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 11:36 PM

Thanks for the laugh! The photo of the slide with the fire effect cracks me up!

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Thursday, April 2, 2009 1:19 AM

I just caught the latest update concerning Charmland turning into Obamaland. This thing just keeps going and going.... Someone clearly has way too much free time on their hands. My favorite line from FAQs:

"Are you shortening seatbelts to prevent Rush Limbaugh from riding?"

I can hardly wait for the Republican response tomorrow.

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Thursday, April 2, 2009 9:27 AM

While the whole FFoC site was amusing, what finally made me laugh out loud was the picture of Shouka doing a flip in the freshwater lake. :)

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Thursday, April 2, 2009 11:50 AM

Five Flags might have made a go of it had they only applied for that liquor license. Or at least figured out what to do with all those mushrooms and poppies growing throughout the park.

I'll be asking my congressman to launch an investigation into the huge bonuses received by the Charmland executives. They're probably in the hundreds of dollars. Not to mention the tubs of Dippin' Dots and bags of mulch that are unaccounted for. I'm just glad I decided not to buy those shares of Charmland stock (CHRM).

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Thursday, April 2, 2009 11:31 PM

Hey, at least Mr. Five still has a home.

This whole thing is absolutely brilliant! What an incredible line-up of rides! Are the shows any good?

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Sunday, April 5, 2009 7:43 PM

What?! No comments from Ed Markey?

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