The worst person ever to go to an amusement park with

Jeff's avatar

No words really capture this, so I'll just let you read it.

We get people like that around here from time to time.

Jeff - Editor - - My Blog - Phrazy

Bakeman31092's avatar

Oh my. Is this a joke?

This part was especially priceless:

If you’ve ever wanted to see sibling rivalry at its worst, or watch longtime friends seethe with jealousy toward one another, just explain to them that only the ones who are tall enough will get to go on the best rides.

No, it’s not because someone can kick the ball harder or run faster — that’s the kind of physical advantage they understand. It’s because of where the seatbelt falls on them. [as if that is arbitrarily chosen]

Just try telling the shorter ones they can go on the roller coaster, but only with an adult to escort them. A 6-year-old boy can barely keep his dignity.

I tell ya, the height inequality is getting out of hand in this country. The Talls are taking everything for themselves and leaving nothing for the Shorts. The government needs to step in and prevent these manufacturers from placing unfair height restrictions on their rides.

OhioStater's avatar

Sounds like an advertisement for Fast Lane.

Wow, what a negative article. It makes me wonder if the writer's only amusement park experience is Six Flags: Great Adventure. ;>)

koolcat1101's avatar

The writer of that article is such a complainer.

Just wait patiently in line like the rest of us and don't complain about it.

slithernoggin's avatar

Coming up, Naomi Schaefer Riley discusses going to a movie theatre, waiting for an unknown and unpredictable amount of time on line to buy a ticket, having to explain to her toddler, at the last minute, why he isn't allowed to see "Sin City: A Dame To Kill For," only to find herself in a large room surrounded by people watching the same movie that she's watching.

Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
--Fran Lebowitz

Rick_UK's avatar

She seems like quite the character

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Jeff's avatar

Wow, good find. I guess anything uninteresting or not worthy of her attention is obviously not worthy of anything. I feel better knowing someone is out there to point out what's not worth my time, even if I didn't ask.

Jeff - Editor - - My Blog - Phrazy

LostKause's avatar

She doesn't sound like an amusement park fan to me.

Vater's avatar

I'm gonna say Rick_UK 'shopped the "Amusement park fan" text on there.

Tommytheduck's avatar

I tell ya, the height inequality is getting out of hand in this country. The Talls are taking everything for themselves and leaving nothing for the Shorts. The government needs to step in and prevent these manufacturers from placing unfair height restrictions on their rides.

For $80, Cedar Fair will sell your child a vial of HGH, thereby cutting off those poor suckers forced to wait in the standby, or "late bloomer" line.

Raven-Phile's avatar

Was this article written by Bobbie?

Let's take our lessons from this instead.

Pretty much sums it up.

Timber-Rider's avatar

I once brought a friend to Cedar Point, drove all the way there, and paid his admission, and all he wanted to do was walk through every gift shop in the park, and spend anywhere from a half hour to 45 minutes in each store. and, he did not want to go on any of the rides, because he didn't want to wait in line.

I tried to explain to him the the park is not a city, almost every store has the same merchandise as the last store he was in, with only a few having anything different or unique. I put up with the first hour or so of store walking, and finally stopped him, and made a deal.

Since we both had cell phones, I told him to walk through all the stores he wanted, and I would do the rides, and when he was bored with his shopping to call me, and tell me where he was, and I would meet up with him later in the day. he agreed and went on his way.

he called me at around 7 pm. said he had done what shopping he wanted to do, and to meet with him at the midway market and we would eat dinner. then after dinner, he wanted to leave. All he bought was a hand full of post cards, A key chain, and a park map, and spent a half hour bitching about how much he paid for it. Which was laughable to me, because he assumed he might find cheaper post cards in the park, as in 4 for a $1.00. (how much he expected to pay for them.)

So, I said, we are NOT leaving after only being in the park for less than 7 hours. He dragged his feet the rest of the night, spent an hour watching people being weighed at the guess your weight game, and spent another 45 minutes at the photo booth, pretending like he wanted to get one of those fake magazine cover photos, while he watched others get their photos taken, then didn't want to get one, unless I paid for it.

We went on maybe 3 rides together, and he pissed and moaned and dragged his feet like a 5 year old about having to wait in a 30 minute line. All, I heard for 3 hours was, "I want to go home."

I had a roller coaster tycoon moment, and wanted to get my imaginary grabber and dump him in the lake. he bitched and moaned all the way back to Grand Rapids about how boring it was. I told him, it was only boring because you decided to make it Boring. Then he says lets go back again next month. I no.

And, my point of this post is that not all park visitors are families, and being tired, frustrated, or disappointed is not limited to people with kids. Most of what she said in the article was true. My worst encounter with a so-called family happened at Geauga Lake, where a bunch of teenage boys were acting like total tools, swearing at people blocking lines, by refusing to move, and standing up during some ride operations, and even throwing pennies at people off their top spin ride.

They were on the parks himalaya, climbing from seat to seat as the ride was moving, and the ride op stopped the ride and made everyone get off, and they kept trying to get back in line. Just rotten little bastards. I looked at one kid who was coming toward my seat, and I said..Just try it a-hole, i'll knock you out!

So, it can be a LOT worse.

Last edited by Timber-Rider,

I didn't do it! I swear!!

You win.

Pagoda Gift Shop's avatar

You need some better friends.

Also, you should have included a punch line at the end like, "And the friend I took to the park was actually <insert coasterbuzz person here>!".

sirloindude's avatar

Timber-Rider's friend sounds an awful lot like Timber-Rider.

13 Boomerang, 9 SLC, and 8 B-TR clones

LostKause's avatar

I know. I was expecting a Fight Club twist at the end. lol

slithernoggin's avatar

Kinda reminds me of family trips to Cedar Point in days of yore. I'd go ride rides. My father would park on a park bench and watch people, which he found (and finds) entertaining. My brother would spend all day in the main arcade. My mother would spend her day at Fascination, with occasional breaks for french fries.

Everybody did what they liked, everybody was happy.

Last edited by slithernoggin,

Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
--Fran Lebowitz

rollergator's avatar

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