A Geek among Coaster Geeks?
There's mornings at CP that she'll get up and do early entry and let me sleep.
I've done parks alone on business trips and find it absolutley enjoyable. Without fail, I'll start up a conversation in line with someone in the morning and run into them later in the day. They love to tell how their day has gone, what they've ridden, and their impressions of to rides. I think it's great to hear a normal person's perspective - mine is so skewed from to damn many visits.
I look at it this way: there are very few places I'd rather be than an amusement park, so I'll go whenever it's possible.
To being an "us" for once - instead of a "them".
-Paul
RatherGoodBear said:If someone else has an issue with you being in line alone, just tell them you're the only one in your family who wanted to ride this coaster. Nobody has to know your family isn't on the premises. You're not lying by saying this either.
I agree that there is nothing wrong with visiting parks alone, I do it all the time.
I wanted to comment that if someone else has an issue with someone being in line alone, there is NO NEED to justify this by implying others in your "party" didn't want to ride and pretending you aren't at the park alone. Frankly, any stranger who has an issue with someone being in line alone, or at a park alone, is overstepping their boundaries and I would NEVER try to justify me being me so they could then "accept" me. THEY are the weirdos with a "problem" by taking exception to complete strangers minding their own business, and by assuming that everyone who isn't like them is "weird" or "unusual"!
I am actually PROUD of the fact that I am strong-willed, self suffucient, and EMOTIONALLY INDEPENDENT enough to do EXACTLY what I want whenever I want, without being dependent on other people to do the things I want to do! Life is too short to not do EXACTLY what you want as often as you can, whether others are involved or not.
Same thing with being childfree. If other people insist on acting like THEY know what's best for me and that they "pity" me because I am "missing" something, I put them in their place so fast it would make your head spin! What is "normal" and desired by one person might be completely unnatural for someone else. So I point out that for me it is a conscious, natural CHOICE that I am very happy with, following my OWN inner voice and instincts, and point out all the freedom, free time, and disposable income I have that allows me to pursue my own personal dreams in a way that most people with the marriage, 2 kids, picket fence, and mortgage can only dream of! That shuts them up pretty quick!
Regarding parks, being an only child, an introvert, and a private person used to doing things solo, visiting alone feels perfectly NATURAL and NORMAL to me. I get into a "groove" with the park in my own little world, and part of the fun is the freedom and sense of discovery in spontaneously deciding exactly what you want to do as the park visit develops.
That's not to say I dislike other people or am anti-social. Under the right circumstances, I enjoy visiting with others. Preferably just one or two other people who are fellow "open to close parkies" like me who can keep up with my pace. Or, people who don't mind splitting up for part of the day.
At "home parks", due to my high volume of visits alone, it is less urgent for each visit to be high-volume ride-wise, so I am more likely to be willing to compromise with friends since I'm there so much alone anyway. Still, I prefer to meet others at parks so I can do open-to-close - in case they want to leave early, it won't be an issue that way as my car is there.
But road trips? I've learned the hard way years ago that traveling to a park with people who aren't into it that much can cause more problems than it's worth. But like I said before, as an only child with a strong sense of independence, luckilly it is no "stigma" or "crisis" for me to go alone like it would be for a lot of people.
"And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free"
- From "Defying Gravity", from the Broadway musical "Wicked"
Frontrider *** Edited 8/5/2006 7:53:02 PM UTC by Frontrider*** *** Edited 8/5/2006 8:01:18 PM UTC by Frontrider***
I used to try talking them into coming with me, but seing their pale faces and shocked expressions afterwards while I go off like a rocket on these things always made me feel guilty.
Coasting is not for everyone, I guess, so I accept my fate and try to make the best of my solipsist enjoyment.
When I go to my home park it's really nice to go alone sometimes. I definitely am in the middle of the introvert/extrovert scale and I need the time to be by myself and think/reflect/get away. On the other hand it is also nice to spend the time with someone else and just hang out and not feel pressured to do everything.
When I go to a new park or a park I don't normally get to, I definitely feel the pressure to get a lot of stuff done so I usually feel like other people are holding me up (the introvert side usually comes out). That said, when I went to SFoG this year by myself, I could objectively tell the Goliath was the best B&M hyper of the lot, but I still wasn't having a great time. Something about it just wasn't clicking and it could be that I wanted someone to share the experience with...
Hobbes: "What's the point of attaching a number to everything you do?"
Calvin: "If your numbers go up, it means you're having more fun."
It's funny...about an hour ago, I spoke to my friend who lives in Orlando who is almost as big of a coaster nut as I. I told him my coaster adventure plans and he wants to meet me there (he works for an airline and flies for free).
I told him to join me, since he get's it....but any other friend who is fussy would have had to join me on a less selfish trip. Since he has to work on Tuesday, I will have at least one park to myself...(maybe Holiday World?)
I'll report back on if I should have stuck with my original plan, or if it was fun having a cohort.
Thanks for responding, to those of you that did (even if you agreed with my geekdom :)
I think it's good to be comfortable doing things that are 'typically social' all alone. When I lived in NY, I would often turn down plans with groups to run off and try and catch a show (single tickets are easier to come by and you get much closer) or find some kind of adventure.
I'd always meet cool new people that way, and I had the city at my disposal. (I discovered one of my favorite films, Run Lola Run that way).
I guess though that I do have my limits...I don't typically ride many other rides other than coasters alone....somehow (my double standard) it seems kinda sad to whirl alone on the tilt-a-whirl. Why does that seem more lonely looking to me? I dunno.
So..to those of you that wouldn't be caught dead alone in a park or in a movie theatre (or anywhere else)....give it a try sometime...You won't have to share your popcorn or to get a concensus to do whatever you want. It's my challenge to you. :)
Oh and rent Run Lola Run (the subtitled version). It's a rollercoaster ride in itself.
I'll let you know how the trip goes.
-M
Qualification: I don't mind taking a ride or two alone, and the couple times I've done this I found it rather peaceful. When my family went to Mt. Olympus, I elected to stay and keep riding when my younger siblings and father went over to the waterpark. I managed probably 5 rides on Zues, 1 on Cyclops, and 1 on Hades in that time and had a ball. Granted it was more fun when my family came back for some night riding, but I'll take a couple laps on a quality coaster over a waterpark anyday.
So the short answer is I don't think I'd enjoy going to a park alone, but I don't mind a solo ride or two here and there when the opportunity presents itself.
I ran into a woman at CP and I told her I was doing all the rides in order according to the "Guide to the Point" recommendations (I had the list), and later I saw her and she asked how I was making out. There were three teenage boys at Disaster Transport who asked if I wanted to be part of their group. I had some long conversations with people waiting for MF (it was an hour-and-1/2 line all three times). So while you may be alone, you can still meet some really cool people.
The only place I got some "weird" reactions was when I told some girls at SFO that I was traveling alone while waiting for Batman Knight Flight. They thought that it was a little bit strange that someone would travel all the way from Maryland to Ohio. I told them the truth that no one else I knew wanted to go. My friends at the time liked coasters and had been to parks outside of Maryland with me, but I didn't know anyone who was crazy enough to take a multi-park long-distance trip. That problem got "solved" the following year.
I made a couple of mid-week solo trips to CP a few years ago. They were early and late season so I knew I wouldn't be waiting much in line. My GF didn't want to take a vacation day so I went alone. It would have been better with her along, but I had fun.
I still wouldn't consider a multi-day trip alone. My solo day trips are probably also a thing of the past as the GF became the wife, and the 2 of us became 3 (4 in a day or two).
Frontrider, if your response to parents is "...point out all the freedom, free time, and disposable income I have that allows me to pursue my own personal dreams in a way that most people with the marriage, 2 kids, picket fence, and mortgage can only dream of!" then I understand why they would pity you.
I'm not suggesting you have kids, mind you--there are plenty of people here already, and I probably felt the way you do 5 years ago. But plenty of people (us included) had the freedom, money, etc. and decided to have kids. And we aren't sorry. You might say we've seen it your way, and now see it the "with kids" way. You OTOH, haven't seen it our way. You've never seen your 2-year old daughter look at you in ways that melt your heart.
She also likes to ride.
I agree with you that people shouldn't pretend to know what's best for you. Heck, you could be a terrible parent who hates their kids!!
Then, in August of the same year my girlfriend (at the time) accompanied me on my first real theme park trip. She knew I was fanatical about coasters, but I don't think she was ready to experience it firsthand, despite her initial willingness to go. After day 1 at Hersheypark, day 2 of driving, day 3 and 4 at Cedar Point (where I found her limit - she was in tears after our first ride on Millennium Force), by day 5 she threw in the towel. She asked if I minded if she chilled for the day while I went to Kings Island by myself. I was a little disappointed, but I understood. I ended up having a great time.
While I did miss being able to share these two first-time park visits with someone, I have very fond memories of both. My first rides on Mind Bender and Beast were religious experiences, and I'm not sure I would have appreciated them as much had I ridden with someone else.
Since that year I visited SFA a few times by myself, as it's my second 'home' park, but other than that I tend to go with my wife or friends. I do enjoy my alone time, however, and wouldn't mind making a solo trip to other new parks once in a while.
Being an only child I've been to multiple parks with my parents who don't like to rid ea lot of rollercoasters, so I go it alone.
On the other hand I try to plan at least 1 or 2 trips a summer with friends because like me, they love rollercoasters, and its good to go with other people and share experiences.
I'm the type of person who gets a long with about anyone who is openminded and looking for a good time..and as wrong as that sounds ;) its true.
So it's not hard for me to talk to strangers, and it's not hard for me to go with friends either.
Kyle Says: Diamondback was a lot of fun! Made his first time at Kings Island worth it all!
Lankster said:
Frontrider, if your response to parents is "...point out all the freedom, free time, and disposable income I have that allows me to pursue my own personal dreams in a way that most people with the marriage, 2 kids, picket fence, and mortgage can only dream of!" then I understand why they would pity you.
Er, no.
You have it reversed, and seem to have taken that quote out of the context of its paragraph. My response to all "parents" is not what is quoted above. That is something I tell people only AFTER they condescendingly try to convince me that something is "missing" in my life and it is clear that they are looking on me with "pity". So I merely point out some of the advantages being childfree allows me, and then they often agree that yes, I have a lot more free time and the ability to pusue my hobbies than they do. In fact, a lot of those same people are often COMPLAINING about how busy they are and stress, etc, based on the choices they made - stresses that I do not have.
It is silly to "pity" someone like me who is living EXACTLY according to how I want to live. If I WANTED to do something and couldn't do it, then maybe I could see your point.
But pitying someone for not doing something they have ZERO interest in is illogical and foolish. I have known since the age of THREE (or even younger!) that I never wanted to breed, so pitying me for not doing so is sort of like pitying the average person with no interest in mountain climbing for not going to the Himalayas and conquering Everest.
You might say we've seen it your way, and now see it the "with kids" way. You OTOH, haven't seen it our way.
That makes sense from your point of view as to how it relates to your own life. However, even without that experience of the "with kids" way as you put it, in my case I know enough about myself to know that experience wouldn't change me or my strong desire to never breed. Just as an experimental "encounter" with a person of a different orientation is not going to change someone's orientation.
I don't need to have kids to figure out whether it is or is not for me. I already KNOW one million percent to the depths of my soul that it is not! And since having them is a decision that alters your life FOREVER, by then, it would be too late to go back to the life I would prefer.
Frontrider *** Edited 8/7/2006 6:56:55 PM UTC by Frontrider***
My very first road trip was from Minneapolis to SFGam, visit some friends in Chicago, over to CP and double back through MI to hit MiA. The final leg was taking the ferry across Lake Michigan to Wisconsin and homeward bound. 3 parks...5 states...7 days...all me.
Friends did offer to tag along but then my agenda would not get met as easily. I needed to do that alone.
The next summer I divided my next large trip into 2 separate ones. I had a girlfriend along to Adventureland and WOF over an extended weekend.
The next was a buddy of mine down to SF St Louis (don't know the abv.) a month later.
Neither to say the least were coaster "fans" but they enjoyed the trip. And so did I.
After that I found it nice to share the experiences with others. It would be even better if I could find someone like-minded locally to go to other parks with because my girlfriend is gone and my other friends are preoccupied with starting families (nothing wrong with that, just life changes).
So at this point I would at least like to have a partner in crime to road trip and ride with.
Going alone can get boring.
Thanks for another great season, VF!
I understood you perfectly, I was just being (apparently too) brief in my reply. I understand your comment is after their unasked for opinion.
My comment is that comparing all the joy my 2-year old little girl has brought into our lives with a little more free time or money is pitiful. That's why you get the looks of pity, I felt pity when I read it. (Of course in our case, we still have above average free-time/$$.) The pity isn't because you refuse to do it, it's because you compare it with such trivial matters. I understand you don't consider it trivial, but trust me, you WOULD understand if you were a parent--any half-decent parent anyway.
And Dude, you HAVE NOT experienced what parenthood is like--see my example before, so you don't know what it's like. It's not just my opinion, it's a fact that you DON'T have a kid to see it my way. As I said before, my outlook on life was much like yours 5 years or so ago. I didn't particularly care for kids, didn't think it would be any big deal if I never had any. But my daughter changed all that in a hurry. All the plans I'd made for my life when I was 3 went right out the window!
I'm curious how old you are. If I had to guess I'd say under 25. (Sadly, I'm pushing 40 myself.)
Again, I would never suggest to anyone they should have kids--I'd argue half the kids' parents out there shouldn't have had them. (I'm basing this on a statistic I saw that 1/2 the kids in this country are supported by WIC, i.e. their parents couldn't afford to support them.) I'm suggesting maybe you should tell people what you told me--you never wanted kids EVER, and you always knew that--rather than make the comparison between kids and silly crap. If, however, you're just being condescending back to their condescension then bravo.
But trust me, if you ever did have a daughter and one of her magical looks didn't change you, then man you have no soul.
Lankster said:My comment is that comparing all the joy my 2-year old little girl has brought into our lives with a little more free time or money is pitiful. That's why you get the looks of pity, I felt pity when I read it. (Of course in our case, we still have above average free-time/$$.) The pity isn't because you refuse to do it, it's because you compare it with such trivial matters.
Ah, but the glaring flaw of that logic is the POMPOUS, CONDESCENDING assumption that because something brings YOU a large amount of joy, that it would bring someone else (in this case, me) the same amount of joy. (In my case, it WOULDN'T.) A classic case of projecting one's own values/needs/goals/fulfilment etc. onto others and assuming they are wired the exact same way. You know, I really HATE when people do that.
Because your experience has led you to value your child more than your hobbies or free time, it does NOT mean that everyone else would feel the same way in your shoes. I wouldn't.
If I were just as pompous I could say I "pity" all of those who don't ride coasters, if only they knew the "joy" it brought me, blah, blah, blah.
Or I could pompously, condescendingly say I pity YOU for not being able to live a completely free life like I can, which would be projecting MY goals and standards onto you. By my standards, YOU are trapped and I am FREE!
But I WON'T say that because I recognize that your lifestyle makes you more happy than mine would make you. Just as MY lifestyle makes me happy and yours would make me depressed and miserable. I prefer having NO STRINGS on me. You know, like Pinocchio!
Your kid makes you happy, GREAT! Just don't ASSUME that I do not have an EQUALLY or GREATER amount of happiness from the things that bring me happiness, and don't condescendingly assume that I would feel the joy you feel as a parent.
But I DO have a very rich, rewarding, happy life, in my own way just as much so as yours is for you. And since I DO feel like there is NO WAY I could be any more happy and content with my life than I already am, and FOR SURE not through having kids, the unsolicited, unwarented "pity" by you and your kind is an incredibly condescending INSULT, as anyone with the slightest bit of common sense or tact should be able to see.
Newsflash: We are all unique individuals, and many of us are wired differently from the "norm".
And Dude, you HAVE NOT experienced what parenthood is like--see my example before, so you don't know what it's like. It's not just my opinion, it's a fact that you DON'T have a kid to see it my way. As I said before, my outlook on life was much like yours 5 years or so ago. I didn't particularly care for kids, didn't think it would be any big deal if I never had any. But my daughter changed all that in a hurry. All the plans I'd made for my life when I was 3 went right out the window! .
Well, duh, my point is it's easy for you to go on about how you can see it from both sides, thus positioning yourself as more knowledgable than me about this.
But it's not a case of me saying "I like Dr. Pepper better than Mr. Pibb but have never tried Mr. Pibb".
That would be ABSURD. One can easily spend time on both sides of the fence that seperates Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb, decide which they prefer, and then return to the side of their choice.
Not so with having children. Once you venture onto the "having children" side of the fence, you are there FOREVER and can never return to the side of MILITANTLY not wanting them ever again. It's too late once you've had them. It's the one thing in life that is undoable.
You see, your outlook WASN'T like mine. You said "it was no big deal" if you never had any. Whereas I have always been MILITANTLY REPULSED by the idea, and have been since I was three!
So by the very nature of my lifestyle choices, I can't have the experience on both sides of that fence to position myself in this discussion as "experienced" as you.
But the point is I don't NEED to have them to CONFIRM that I don't want them, by then it would be too late!
Would you suggest to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters that they need to have a hetero encounter so they can know for sure that they are gay or lesbian? And then throw on the condesending line about how if they ever had a girlfriend look lovingly into their eyes, they would see what they were missing and it would "change" them?
How condescending.
For me being "childfree" is MORE than just a choice, it's more like an ORIENTATION. And no romanticized "look in the eyes" is going to change me. I noticed you aren't mentioning the less idealized aspects - the loud noise, the smelly diapers, the turbulent high school years, etc!
I'm curious how old you are. If I had to guess I'd say under 25. (Sadly, I'm pushing 40 myself.)
I'm about your age, maybe one or two years younger. But certainly old enough to know I don't want to be a "breeder"!
Again, I would never suggest to anyone they should have kids--I'd argue half the kids' parents out there shouldn't have had them. (I'm basing this on a statistic I saw that 1/2 the kids in this country are supported by WIC, i.e. their parents couldn't afford to support them.) I'm suggesting maybe you should tell people what you told me--you never wanted kids EVER, and you always knew that--rather than make the comparison between kids and silly crap. If, however, you're just being condescending back to their condescension then bravo.
It isn't "silly crap". One of the reasons given by MANY people who don't want kids is the loss of free time and personal interests. And I know of people who have had kids just because it was "expected" of them who openly speak of how they regret the decision, part of the reasons centering on what you termed "silly crap"
But trust me, if you ever did have a daughter and one of her magical looks didn't change you, then man you have no soul.
That's a moot point because it will NEVER happen but for the sake of your argument, if it did, I guess I "have no soul" than because NOTHING could or would change my mind.
But the personal insults and moral judgements ("have no soul"), just for me feeling the way I feel are completely uncalled for, an untrue personal attack.
HOW DARE YOU.
I apologize to the moderator that this discussion has ventured somewhat off-topic. At parks I have at times been on the recieving end of silly and hurtful comments to the effect of "Why is a grown man here by himself if he doesn't have children with him". Memories of these comments were triggered by this thread, as were memories of equally close-minded comments by people who think it's "abnormal", "wrong", or "selfish" to simply NOT WANT kids. And the ever-popular but SO CONDESCENDING "You'll change your mind some day", as if THEY somehow know me better than I know myself. All of this came up on one of my park visits once. Actually the line about "a grown man shouldn't be here by himself" I heard 2 or 3 times, unprovoked. (NOT from any park employees, just idiotic guests.)
To my adversary I offer these links to show I am NOT alone, but I do not wish to continue this discussion further after these unmerited personal attacks.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childfree
http://vincentciaccio.livejournal.com/
"And for all of us/Who don't fit in/who follow their instincts and are told they sin/this is a prayer for a different way" - Pet Shop Boys, "A Red Letter Day" *** Edited 8/9/2006 8:17:56 AM UTC by Frontrider***
For the first time, just in the last two weeks, I found out why it can be good to go to parks alone. My sister did not want to be left alone in the waterpark while I enjoyed my coasters. In the heat we had that day, she was also tempermental. (Heat index about 110) Therefore, I only got to ride 4 big rides of about 10 on my list, before we left the park mid afternoon. I am usually a night owl.
I do both options. I don't mind being alone, unless I'm trying a ride that I'm a little nervous (or more) about, then I want to ride with someone I know. IE Skyhawk in three weeks!, or my first upside down carnival ride on the zipper several years ago.
I totally agree about taking some time out to ride solo when you need a bit of personal rejuvenation - there's nothing quite as relaxing and refreshing like closing your eyes, feeling the wind through your hair and the vibrations of the track beneath/above you without having to think about the person next to you.
Riding with friends and family satisfies the adrenaline needs, but riding solo satisfies in a much deeper, more personal way.
Apparently I hit a nerve for you to go off like that. I didn't attack you personally--apparently you didn't get that "no soul" comment was tough-in-cheek. I was merely trying to explain why you get the looks of pity. Do you think you haven't personally attacked me? (I very much disagree with your value system, I guess you consider that an attack, but I haven't called you names.)
You seem to think that having kids is a prison sentence. Last I checked, kids were allowed in parks. They don't end your freedom, or end free time. Not even close.
If you want to call me pompous for valueing kids over the (marginal and temporary) loss of free time then have at it. (I can't believe many people don't feel like I do. Guess the vast majority are just pompous.) (I also think murderers are bad--is that also projecting my feelings too much?!) You keep implying that I want you to have kids, despite my repeating that I don't. I was explaining where the pity came from, and your answer is that we're stupid to pity you. Sorry, but we have the freedom to feel like we do, just as you demand we respect how you feel.
Why have you no respect for our feelings??
You've read so much into what I said I can't begin to sort it out. You compare your life to mine?? You know nothing about my life, as do I yours. I could be an eccentric multi-millionaire with multiple nannies to care for my kids, giving me all the free time possible. Conversely, your life could be so amazing I'd jump at the chance to switch. So I don't understand most of your post in that direction.
If you feel I insulted you, I'm sorry--text doesn't always convey context as well as spoken word.
I'm not sure why I'll try one more time, but maybe if I make my point short enough you won't feel offended:
The people who give you looks of pity don't understand how you could value a little more free time over having a child.
That's it. Nothing else. Apparently you pity them right back. Great. Have a nice life.
Me? I'm going to enjoy my brand new son, born 8-8-06.
You must be logged in to post
