I know this is a little off topic, but I'm gonna have to resort to the "I am Canadian" spiel here... (If you've watched Canadian TV within the past year, you know what I'm talking about.)
"Hey.
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader.
And I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled.
And I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English and French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation.
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.
A TOUQUE IS A HAT.
A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH.
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED "ZED" NOT "ZEE", "ZED"!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY!
AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
MY NAME IS JOE!!
AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!
Thank you."
Well, I'm not Joe, but you get the idea :)
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-Dave Rutherford
*If things seem under control, you're just not going fast enough*