Deep in the Heart of Texas Trip 7/21-7/26 2026 (Schlitterbahn, SFFT, Sea World SA)

I personally really enjoyed Apollo Andy’s Midwest Trip format with just observations, this was not my first time in any of these parks, and I suspect a lot of you have visited too. Even if you haven’t, I feel most people will know enough about these parks that I feel I don’t go into the nitty gritty about each park.

Why I took this trip in July: I’m sure most of you are asking WTF am I willingly subjecting myself to summer in San Antonio, and the answer to this is Schlitterbahn, my absolute favorite waterpark. It has a notoriously short season, and rarely has everything open in the park outside of the month of July. I was forced, at least being amongst the trees and constantly being wet made it tolerable. I spent Tues-Fri in New Braunfels, I endured SFFT and SWSA less well but still had fun on Sat and Sun. Schlitterbahn is still worth the sauna, and it’s hard to come down here and not hit SFFT because it’s a gem, as is Electric Ocean.

Ok Schlitterbahn observations first:

Observation #1: Schlitterbahn is still the best. To those of you who have never been here, this water park is unlike anything you have ever been to. For one thing this park is massive, Noah’s Ark in the Dells only gets to claim it’s the largest water park because der Bahn is split into two halves the West and East (with free buses inbetween.). The second and most important feature is this park is home to 6 Tube Chute Rides which are virtually extinct at any other water park. Finally the original (west) side parks has more mature trees then Charmland which really gives off “ol’ watering hole” vibes.

Observation #2: Tube Chutes are the best water park attractions. What is a tube chute you ask? It’s a ride where you are in an inner tube in a concrete chute that is part lazy river, part water slide. They are extremely long here (shortest one is 5 minutes, the longest two are well over 20 min.) They are adventures where you will at some point get stuck in a whirlpool, dead water and/or wipeout so it very much is an active experience but so much fun. They can be quite thrilling too, I would chalk up the Whitewater Tube Chute with any Bomb-Bay slide out there. It’s main feature is a ten foot drop into a shallow splash zone that does not really slow you down, followed by a bump on a foam wall to rotate you 90 degrees and immediately send you into a 30+ foot steep drop with rumble strips into a deep pool below. You just never feel in control and are clinging on for dear life throughout that sequence. Of the 6 chutes, four are fed with filtered Camel River Water (which makes the water barely 70 degrees even in triple digit heat l) and 1 of them (well technically 2 but they haven’t staffed one it’s entire length for years) actually ends with you floating down part of the river itself.

They are amazing, you are wet the entire time, and the capacity (that’s people on the ride, not the line) of the two long ones has to measured in the hundreds (quite the difference to your average double tube slide that can only have 2 riders on the slide at one time.). The dispatch interval is how quickly the next person can jump in their tube. If they are still good why are they only here? Well 3 reasons, they require a lot of lifeguards (not ride ops, lifeguards,) as they are concrete ditches (with foam in high impact areas) you need topography to make it work, and three groups easily get separated and you should only do these things if you are a competent swimmer. That makes Schltterbahn a place I would only recommend to older kids as younger then that the best rides will be a very stressful experience for parents and non swimmers.

Observation #3: Six Flags has made this place better since my last visit. 3 years ago I arrived to see that Cedar Fair had butchered my favorite Tube Chute (Hillside) by making it run on chlorinated water and taking out the rapids beneath the lockers, they also similarly killed the Torrent (wave) River by requiring everyone to be on a tube and wear a life vest. Finally, they installed scales with strict weight limits on the blasters. Well since then, they fixed the Torrent River by allowing anyone over 52” to not wear a vest and tubes are optional again. There may be no fixing the Hillside Chute entirely, but they have started to stock normal water park polyvinyl tubes with handles on the west side (instead of rubber inner tubes) which causes you to sit higher in the water making you far less likely to drag on the bottom and makes wipeouts less frequent because handles. The Hillside Chute is enjoyable again, but it’s still a shadow of its former self. Still, thank you for improving things this time Six Flags. Now if you could just kill the single rider weight limit on the blasters (and just use a total raft weight limit) it wound be appreciated (but I suspect that’s a manufacturer requirement.)

Observation #4: Schlitterbahn may have fixed all Season Fast Lane. I have one this year and before this trip knowing their high utilization I had a lot of worries about FL lines being long and standby lines living up to their name, but they weren’t, thanks to a policy decision here. All Season Fast Lane guests get single use Fastlane, not unlimited. You get one skip the line ride on eligible attractions a day. Thanks to that, it wasn’t too bad. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to limit Season Passholders to one quick ride per attraction per day. I think I finally came up with the perfect system to do that park. Unless you are a resort guest and get early entry, I would suggest rope dropping the west side, and doing Hillside, Raging River, Congo River, Cliffhanger, White Water (should take 2.5-3 hours) then repeating those rides with FL and any non tube chute slide you want on the west side. After that, if you want to do the blasters and other slides on the East Side using your FL head there now which should be about 4pm (While I just did yet another loop of these slides in the normal queue after that because I’m here for the tube chutes, the other rides exist at other parks.). Then during the last 2 hours of operation take a few spins in the Torrent River before marathoning The Falls tube chute (the other 20+ min ride, and the one with the conveyor belt) until you get kicked out.

Observation 5: Schlitterbahn needs better food options. They have the most basic of basic theme park fare + BBQ the latter of which is probably the worst in the chain and that is pathetic seeing as this is Texas. I know they let in outside food, but maybe up your in park options to goose sales. I only used my season dining plan for one meal a day because I’d rather pay for a good dinner after park closes.

Observation 6: I’m growing older by not up. As I enter my middle 40s, I still really enjoy this park but I certainly feel it more at the end of the day. Because I’m constantly manipulating my body while on a tube different stuff aches, instead of knees and feet, it’s my groin and quads along with my upper arms from paddling. It’s also amazingly freeing to not have my phone with me the entire day. You really disconnect.

Six Flags Fiesta Texas Observations:

Observation 1: Still the best park called Six Flags…. This park is still stunningly maintained, beautifully themed, and the staff are top notch. I also love how they have rides interact with the quarry wall whenever possible. It was however very short staffed, so most rides were doing one train ops, and on the Road Runner Express the operator had to also do lap checks before returning to his console. I felt bad for the staff they were giving it their all in the heat but there is only so much you can do with one train ops. The crowds (especially prior to Hurricane Harbor closing) were extremely light, even though I went on a Saturday. Other than the heat I couldn’t have had a nicer time.

Observation 2: The Fast Pass system is extremely wonky. They use the smart phone system, and even when the lines for the big rides went over 60 min I had instant access to every ride so I don’t get the point of complicating this with reservations. Just go back to wristbands. It was nice to have complete freedom to ride what I want when I want again.

Observation 3: Disney is licensing their classic songs to other parks now. The park had two Hollywood themed shows, the fireworks and a musical review. While it wasn’t jarring and rather expected to hear Disney adjacent music like Raiders, the Imperial March, Star Wars Theme, and Pirates themes amongst some Universal Classics during the fireworks, (and the show is high quality with big shells, projections and fountains with a runtime of 15 minutes,) I was shocked that the family section of the Hollywood musical review (this park is known for its shows, and one seeks AC in the middle of the afternoon) consisted of mostly Disney music. Other then “I Need A Hero” from Shrek 2 (which is always a great choice) the rest of that section was Under the Sea, Step in Time, Immortals (Big Hero 6) and even Let it Go. Didn’t realize Disney was selling the rights to those songs to other parks. That same show also ended with an extended Wicked Act I medley (No One Mourns the Wicked, Wizard and I, Dancing Through Life, Popular, One Short Day, and of course Defying Gravity) to end the show. I can’t imagine how expensive those rights were for those two segments. Also, great show, tons of costume changes and good singers. Recommend as a way to escape the heat mid day.

Observation 4: This parks retheme of Scooby Doo Boo Blasters is excellent. Now that Phantom Manor exists it’s no longer the best but is second by a mile. It’s entirely rethemed to Ghost Pirates, it’s mainly just a swap of all the Boo Blasters scenes but it’s refreshing enough to be different. They also themed their indoor queue to be a walk through a Carribean port at night and then filled it with some sweet theme park fog (and smell that always makes this Halloween Park Fan very happy.). Be sure to ride it, also, it has the best AC in the park.

Observation 5: Werewolf Gorge is an excellent addition that should fit in well here with the other coasters, but it appears to take up the last expansion spot (that isn’t the parking lot) left in the park. Wonder where they go after?

Observation 6: The tall swing ride here is vastly superior to the Windseekers, it feels more thrilling being only attached with chain link rope and you rotate faster.

Bonus Observation: The park closing announcement is Disneyesque in cuteness, but fails to do the expected ending. At close there is an adorable announcement with the Looney Tunes characters freaking out over the park closing and having to say goodbye to us, then Bugs and Tweety calming the group down that all their new friends can just buy a season pass and come back tomorrow, which then transitions to everyone saying goodbye but somehow doesn’t end with Porky saying “The-The-That’s All Folks.” Thats just a missed opportunity to hit the nostalgia one last time.

Sea World San Antonio Observations

Observation 1: I feel like I’m in abusive relationship loving the United Parks these days. I do truely love these parks, they have great theming, shows and a fun set of rides. They have always been more expensive than the SF/CF parks but in the past you could see why in the quality of the experience. That’s just not true anymore. You now pay more for roughly the same experience. Yes the shows are better and more numerous, but the food is now about the same (but much more expensive) and the ride ops are terrible. The park had a phased opening at 10:30 and 11:00. Even with two opening times, only two rides (not just coasters, all rides) managed to open on time for total during those windows. Rides were still just opening at 12:15. That’s just unacceptable. Thankfully the park was so empty that after the first Shamu show rides were still walk ons. Two weeks ago, I decided to not go to SWO because between Epic and the downgrades this chain has done lately not even Ignite could draw me away from Universal for a day.

Observation 2: Steel Eel was running very aggressive. I don’t know if it’s just the temperature but the airtime was so aggressive that on the landing if you didn’t ride defensively (by using your arms to brace yourself back against the seat) you would be flown forward. I literally got gut punched on my first ride through, because I had my hands up. However subsequent runs after knowing what to do were very enjoyable. Still my favorite here although the GCI and Wave Runner are very fun too.

Observation 3: Sea World has brought back the animal night shows. Anyone who went to the parks pre Blackfish would remember that during the summer there would be night shows at each of the animal shows; the Sea Lion s would do a parody show of every ride and show at the park and the Dolphins and orcas would have a dance party with much more tricks then the day show and a bigger cast of animals. Well this summer the Sea Lion and Shamu night show were back for Electric Ocean along with a black light puppet show, ski show (complete with lasers and pyro) and a drone show. It’s a pretty fun lineup. I was pretty much done with the park at 3:30 (headed to Aquatica for 2 hours) these extra shows are what makes this a whole day park. With prices being what they are I don’t think I can really strongly recommend the Sea World parks without them. Seeing as Howl-O-Scream is a separate ticket, that just leaves Electric Ocean (late June-Early Aug) and Christmas as times to visit these parks. I really hope someone wrests control of these parks away from the current board members because they are slowly killing these parks. Thank goodness BGW remains the one shining ray of hope for this chain. That, conveniently enough is my next trip.

Observation 4: The closing shows are exceptional during Electric Ocean. While seeing a sea lion imitating a dolphin, and then trying to drown a stuffed orca (they’re a predator of them after all) was so much fun to see again, as was seeing Orcas breaching to “Light Up The Night” and soaking the soak zone to “Make a Splash” were further boosted by nostalgia, the true star of Electric Ocean is its closing shows. First Up is Hydro Power a returning show from my last visit, it’s a night time ski jumping show that features a live 4 piece rock band playing 80s classics (Journey, Ozzy, GNR, Twisted Sister, etc,) water ski jumpers, a hydro board, and lots of pyro (multi nozzle flame throwers and lots of low level pyro.) It’s fantastic on its own, but now it’s paired with a drone show finale that runs immediately after Hydro Power’s conclusion. This may be the best pure drone show (ie no pyro, fountains, or projections) I’ve ever seen. That’s due to its incredibly simple yet spot on theme design. It simply aims to make sea creatures take to the skies. We’re talking sharks, dolphins, school of fish, manta rays, jellyfish forest, octopus, sea turtles and of course killer whales. It’s simple but extremely effective, totally within a drone capabilities (it just needs to slowly move and change colors to make the animals swim in the sky) and obviously completely on theme for the park. Bravo Sea World, good show.

General Observations:

Observation 1: Log flumes were not my friends this trip. Both SFFT and SWSA host two extremely fun flumes, neither was running and were fully drained the days I visited. The Sea World one is a new Intamin Launch model so that’s not exactly surprising, but it’s a real shame and completely unexpected that Bugs wasn’t open, hope it’s nothing too serious it’s an old school Hopkins model with two drops (including one with an airtime hill) and themed to the Bugs short with the dragon.

Observation 2: If you come to San Antonio in the summer I highly suggest packing your water park gear for every park day. At both parks around 3-4 pm I was seriously dragging tail and just hot. Retreating to the waterparks for two hours to veg in the lazy river and wave pool was just what the doctor ordered to cool me down and reenergize me to close the park. It gets so much more comfortable once the sun starts going down. Also obviously hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Despite having a season drink plan at SF and buying multiple drinks at Sea World I still managed to drink through an entire case of bottled water and Diet Coke going to and coming home from the parks.

Great reports. Your descriptions of the tube chutes took me right back to the old Dover Lake Waterpark in Ohio, which is the only time I have experienced such a thing. As a kid, the big tube chute at Dover Lake scared me half to death.