Verrückt & Schlitterbahn KC - Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Let's cut to the chase: my Verrückt experience. I grabbed some breakfast to go and got to the park at around 8:45 for a 10 AM opening. Came dressed in swim attire with only the bare essentials (car key, ID, credit card) so I could go straight to the ride without stopping for a locker. There were maybe 10 folks in front of me. By the time they opened the ticket building at 9:30, there were a little over 100 people. There were 5-6 ticket windows, and signage indicating that Verrückt was indeed open!

After buying my admission wristband, people go left a bit to the rope, again maybe 10 people in front of me. Verrückt is at the very back of the park. I feared a running of the bulls, but thankfully there was none. At 9:45, two workers literally walked backwards with the rope to the ride, preserving queue order, and everyone walked in an orderly fashion to the ride. How refreshing.

For the first few groups, you can proceed immediately without needing to signup for a later time -- assuming you're ready to ride immediately. Either way, you are paired in a group of 2 or 3 depending on weight, and get a green Verrückt wristband with your group number on it. I would be on the 4th boat of the day. After a 3-minute safety spiel where they require everyone to answer "yes" or "no" in unison, we're ready to go up the tower. There's no advantage to getting to the top faster, so all those stairs weren't so bad at a relaxed pace. The view at the top is nice -- you can see for miles, you can even make out the downtown skyline. There are 3 boats total. The first three dispatched about 3 minutes apart, but it took 6 minutes for the 4th dispatch since we had to wait for the first boat to come back up the (steep) conveyor. Wow. Also, the boats already have a few scuff marks and even some duct tape patching in places. Wow. After getting weighed again, you get in the 3-person boat, lighter people in the front.

Inching forward, the gate opens, and we're off, and dropping....just when you think it's gonna get steep and awesome, the "trims" kick in. The bottom half of the drop somehow feels slow, you think you should be going faster. Going up the hump doesn't feel much different than a typical water coaster. Going over the hump, I got no airtime whatsoever, but this is where I got the wettest. The second drop is an average waterslide drop, another solid splash at the bottom. And we're done. Other than the stats, this didn't feel different than a water coaster -- overall, a letdown. But hey, I rode Verrückt!....Yeah. By 10:45, all the signups for the day were full. As a single rider, I may have had decent luck with the standby line, but I honestly had no desire to ride again.

Instead, I toured all of the rivers this place had to offer. I love how the Schlitterbahn parks connect all the river attractions to each other, you can spend hours in the water if you want without ever getting out. King Kaw was fun with a few different rapids sections, there's one portion where you float towards a beach, I thought it was done but then my tube spinned to an entrance to another river. Heh. But my favorite river here was Torrent River -- the waves just get stronger during the latter half. I went around twice.

By noon, I'd literally floated through every inch of river here except the portion leading to the water coaster, Storm Blaster, but its line was pretty long. That's when I realized this park isn't terribly big. There's 6 slides -- three mat/body, three double tube -- and that's basically it besides what I've described above. Think of the Blastenhoff area at the New Braunfels one, and double that.

For lunch, I started my Kansas City barbeque tour with Oklahoma Joe's, at the original gas station location. The Z-Man (brisket, provolone, onion rings) was incredible -- you'd think brisket and cheese won't work together but this sandwich was beautiful and the onion rings give it a nice crunch. Their sauce is great too without being overly sweet. But this was somehow outdone by the lunch special....BURNT END SANDWICH. I heard they only do burnt ends here a couple days a week so I am a lucky man. These....are life changing. Just crispy enough on the outside yet ohhhh so succulently flavorful and tender and.....I'm running out of words. AMAZING meal. I had the burnt ends at Arthur Bryant's a couple years ago, Joe's puts those to shame.

So the ride is booked solid by 10:45am? Wow! That's just downright ridiculous. Sounds like it wasn't even any fun, trimmed all the way down. Are we sure this nightmare of a ride wasn't built by Intamin?

Though I've never been to the park, I'll second Oklahoma Joe's. Only eaten there once, and I was lucky enough to be there on a burnt ends day. Amazing BBQ, some of the best I've ever had. Second only to (also in KC) Jack Stacks, which is closer to downtown. I've eaten there 5 or 6 times and every time it's been amazing. If you're still in the area, check it out. One of the only places I've ever seen that has Lamb Ribs, which I order every time, in a combo plate. It is, however, more upscale than your typical "roll of paper towels" joint, and therefore more expensive.