TV Writer Needs Help

I'm a writer for a French speaking televion show filmed in Montreal. I wish to brainstorm with coaster fans on some coaster related dialogue. I will translate your English ideas into French.

One of the shows characters, an eleven year-old boy, spends hours and hours on his computer surfing web sites for coaster information. The boy doesn't get very good grades and his parents are concerned that he's spending too much time on coasters instead of schoolwork. When the parents confront the son about this, the boy gives a speech that expresses his passion and knowlege for coasters. He uses a lot of impressive words that show his understanding of the physics involved with coaster design. I also want him to convey his enthusiasm for a coaster that's about to open. Perhaps the new Cedar Point ride. He also lets them know his desire to become a coaster designer. The goal of this is to make the parents feel guilty for minimizing his interests and dreams to become a designer. The dialogue will only be about 10 lines.

Maybe some of you out there have personally experienced a situation like this. If so, I would really, really love to hear from you.

You can post your ideas on this site, or send them to me at MattSeves@aol.com.

Thanks.

So this is like a short film then? I could probably give you ideas on the script since I'm a screenwriting fanatic. You can send the script to me if you want - I'd love to read it. If you don't have anything written yet then I can help you there too.

If the dialogue is only 10 lines, then how long is this movie? 10 lines lasts about 30 seconds. So, what exactly do you need help in? I think you should make the story a little more creative. But that's just what kind of stories I like to write. So, anyways, I'd be glad to help.

It would be better as a commercial.

------------------
Emerging from the ashes of Eric 013...

This all seems kinda fishy... I dunno why but it does. Especially since you have an AOL account. I'd think that someone at a TV Station who seems to be in a high place like you say you are would have a company e-mail address. But hey, it's Montreal(sp?), so yeah...

------------------
Midtown ownz j00
*** This post was edited by Brent0s 2/12/2003 5:48:13 PM ***

"I think he needs help, his grades are poor..."

"Well honey, he does know an awful lot about pancakes..."

"What is M:TR?"

"You're right, he does need help"

------------------
- "I used to be in the audio/visual club, but I was kicked out because of my views on Vietnam........and I was stealing projectors" - Homer Simpson

No offense, but who would watch this? The crowd it seems to be directed to makes up a small portion of TV viewers.

Advice for the boy: Don't be so shallow and obsessed; find other hobbies and interests before you make a life-long decision to be a "coaster-holic" ( =

[edit: Original post was skeptical about this person (in light of recent trolls and other things), but after receiving an email from him, I'm certain that this is legit. Please accept my sincere apologies. -Jim]

------------------
My K'Nex Coasters
Coming to Wyandot Lake in 2003: Hi-Striker's Revenge
*** This post was edited by jimmybob 2/12/2003 7:55:35 PM ***

There is no way this kid can get out of this situation. It's great that he wants to some day design coasters. But without any kind of elementry or high school degree he's going no where. The kid can love coasters all he wants, but there not going to let just anyone design coasters.

Nice try!! But do your homework.

------------------
They call me Sir Lancelot, the "Prince of Camelot".

And if your a TV writer I can only assume that you get paid. So why are you asking us for help? Your the one getting paid so do the work yourself. No offence.

------------------
They call me Sir Lancelot, the "Prince of Camelot".

Sir Lancelot,

Television and film screenwriters always turn to other people for help in their writing. They try to be authentic as possible, and the only way to do that is to research and talk to experts (in this particular case, coaster enthusiasts). Imagine if Dick Wolf had never bothered to research either crime investigation or criminal prosecution--the result would be an absurdly unrealistic television show. TV Guy is just trying to make his writing as authentic as possible.

Anyhoo, TV Guy, I wouldn't mind helping you out, but I have a few questions. Is the boy character naturally intelligent and just underachieving or is his intelligence limited to coasters? Would his speech be plaintive, or more argumentative? Is he angry with his parents, or just desperate to get them to understand his passion? Is this show a comedy or a drama?

janfrederick's avatar
It'd be better if he locked himself in his room and drew coasters on his walls with pencil until every square inch of wall was covered. Or better yet, he rigged a tattoo gun with a ball point pen and covered himself in coasters. When his parents find out (after using the jaws of life to open the door), he goes to a shrink who gives up and send him to an institution. Then, a coaster company learns of him and starts consulting with him. They end up making coasters so scary that nobody rerides and they have to put a nurse in the station as a publicity stunt ... ;)

------------------
"Know thyself!"
*** This post was edited by janfrederick 2/13/2003 12:34:19 PM ***

TV Guy: As something of an aspiring write, I'd love to help you. Unfortunately, that's a pretty tall order: Coaster enthusiasts generally talk about any one of those subjects (passion for coasters, the physics involved, and Top Thrill Dragster) in a lot more than ten lines, much less all three of them. I'm trying to think of how to word it, but I'm a little worried that no matter how it's done, it won't end up sounding natural.

------------------
I hear America screaming...

I agree with janfrederick. Your story needs to be more like that. To add to that story, I'd say he becomes so psychotically obsessed with coasters by drawing them all over his body, on his walls - that his parents get him help, but nothing works until a major RC company notices him and asks him to design for them, and he makes amazing RCs that everyone loves. He gets paid the big bucks, and his parents become proud of him...

You could go any where with this story. You could change it into a horror where the kid gets so psychotic over RCs that he kills people who are too scared to ride them (?) ;)

Or maybe a comedy where he's made fun of by his obsessive coaster problem, and its funny to see how overly obsessed he is - until he proves everyone wrong by designing and opening an amusement park where they all enjoy.

MRK468ZZ:

Thanks for the info, I honestly never knew that. Good lookin out.

------------------
They call me Sir Lancelot, the "Prince of Camelot".

rollergator's avatar
For various reasons, including the *damn fine English* for a Frenchman from Montreal (and the recent French Canadian invasion of C'buzz), I was surprisingly suspicious of this thread....hey, call me cynical. But, jimmybob has a good rep as far as I'm concerned, so I'll *bite*:

First, I'd suggest that most eleven-year old *enthusiasts* who are surfing the web are gonna be intelligent enough, by and large. Sort of contradicts the grades thing, but reality and TV aren't that close anyway...('cept for MWC). Beyond that minor criticism, it would be really helpful to know more about the kid, and esp. the SETTING. What city is the show set in, etc. Those are the kinds of details you'd need to address before we could come up with anything *realistic* in terms of dialogue.

Thanks 'gator!

Others on this board are better-qualified to fill-in the physics stuff, but if I were the father, I'd be more concerned about the hours and hours spent on the web no matter where he's surfing. Maybe a resolution for this episode would be the parents getting coaster books for the kid, or taking him to a park where he can experience his passion in person (during school break of course ;))

How are we doing so far, TV Guy?

jimmybob sez: An 11 year-old surfing this site would be against the TOS. Bring on the 'hammer! :)

rollergator's avatar
Funny thing there....I *did* think of COPPA and the implications for all that, but then I remembered we learned only recently that infants are surfing the net...;)

bill, who STILL wants one of our handy photoshoppers to wrangle (mangle?) a pic of an infant surfing the 'buzz...

This still sounds like mularky. Poor grades are a total insult to real engineers who work in the field. IMO, this is some pre teen who wants some advice on how to convince his parental units that all his excess time on the computer can some how justify bad academics, and he can make a living as an enthusiast.

------------------
"Every Man Has Got to Know His Limitations"

Why not tell us the show? The network? The general theme of the series?

------------------
- "I used to be in the audio/visual club, but I was kicked out because of my views on Vietnam........and I was stealing projectors" - Homer Simpson

janfrederick's avatar

Agent Johnson said:
This still sounds like mularky.

Well duh! ;) This plot line wouldn't even cut it as a bad after school special. Sounds like someone wanted some attention. And come to think of it, my response was the same thing! Oh well Happy Valentine's day everyone.

------------------
"Know thyself!"

You must be logged in to post

POP Forums - ©2024, POP World Media, LLC
Loading...