Time For A Coaster "Mockumentary"???

In the spirit of Spinal Tap, have a mechanic explain how his park' rides all go up to level "11" instead of 10 like most other parks. ;)

BTW Barry - I caught Fresh Horses on one of the various cable movie channels (with my teenaged daughter) the other day. I guess I should go back and look for you.

Did you get to ooh and ahh over Molly Ringworm?

Now on Little Man Tate - I was actually an extra who walked by in one scene. But I can't find me, I guess I didn't sleep with the right person to get the gig.

I am done hijacking with useless Made-in-Cincinnati film trivia.

OK Barry, I've got to admit you've got me hooked on the idea. This could actually be quite funny if done well. Very tongue-in-cheek - poking fun at ourselves.

You need a good name for your fictious park - like Wally World was in National Lampoon. Let's see - Barry World - nay, too obvious. Death Trap - good name for a fake ride but not a park. Let's brain storm guys.

I remember an incident a few years ago that was funny at the time. My daughter and I were ready to go on her first ride on Wild Thing. The "safety person" who was checking that our lap restraints were secure was obviously hearing voices and talking to a non-existent person. He was having involuntary movements (a side-effect of anti-psychotic meds). Sarah just looked at me with a sense of horror and said, "Daddy, we're going to die, aren't we?"

Again, so many of you are absolutely right about the movie writing itself just from all of our collective experiences over the years.

The dead body in line with everybody not noticing and just stepping over the body is really very funny as well. The endless recitation of statistics to the GP and "pulling them in" with enthusiast retellings of ride statistics is a must.

There's really so much material to pull from.

Imagine also that great footage could be gotten from the non-riding events that occur in January and February where the parks come and present ride overviews to a salivating group of enthusiasts in Holiday Inns where there's 4 inches of snow on the ground outside. I've never been to one of those but am contemplating going this year for the first time.

The "crazed mechanic" idea is also a hoot.

I think the real "hat trick" to the whole thing is making it accessible, in terms of the comedy, to the lay public as well. We who are very much involved in the hobby can be perhaps too aware of our own self-parody and caricature but it has to be a comedy that everybody can lock into as well.

A fictionalized treatment of the project is underway and is already taking great form. My job is to now package and sell the idea so that it can have a life of its own. Which I plan on doing the other side of the New Year.

I did have one amusing thing I wanted to share that I don't think I've ever shared with anyone here on the Coasterbuzz forum. I have attended the Stark Raven Mads at Holiday World every year since 2000 and the Hollywood Nights event last May and. . .it wasn't until this past year's event that I finally got my first piece of chocolate fudge. It took me five years and some Herculean effort but I finally managed to pull it off. I was always too busy riding when the momentous buffet was unfolding and by the time I got through the line the chocolate fudge was no longer in existence. Though, to be sure, SOMEBODY was holding chocolate fudge (and multiple units of it) in bulging pockets throughout the picnic area!!!!

When HW changed the policy to only allowing buffet participants one piece of fudge, and you had to sacrifice your meal ticket to get it, finally, there was chocolate fudge for ALL!!!! Way to go, HW!!! Another milestone in the evolutation of making an enthusiast event that was already great even better.

Man, I'm thinking seriously about that chocolate fudge now. . .

LOL.

Barry J.

Sorry guys, but I'm having a lot of fun with this.

(Scene # 5)

"Daddy, I'm tired and I want ot go back to the hotel."

"We'll go back in a couple of hours. We only need 3 more credits."

"But I'm hungry"

"We're on vacation, you can eat when we get back home."

(Scene #12) (Running Gag)

Close up of a warning sign: No cell phones, cameras, hats or glasses. Dizzolve into a blue sky. The Camera Pans down from the sky, eventually revealing the top of a large vertical loop, and stopping on the protective netting.

(Sound: The loud rumble of a coaster car)

Cell phones, cameras, hats and glasses landing in the net.

(Scene #20) Dizzolve back onto the net with the above mentioned items still in place on it.

(Sound: The loud rumble of a coaster car)

More cell phones & cameras start dropping, chattering teeth, a guitar, a pinata, a dog and a horse head now join the rest of the items.

Richie:

I have never seen "dizzolve" spelled like that and I have to admit, I kind of like it. The new, improved dizzolve. . .wherein we fade out and jump cut to an enthusiast with a full belly, having conquered the buffet singlehandedly, sound asleep and slumped over the picnic table. Only the telltale gyrations of his fanny pack are discernible, as they move gently up and down. . .the sounds of "Z's" floating through the air. . .Dizzolve. . .

Now, the question we are all wanting to know is this: do you, in fact, still have those wrist bands on from Knoebel's? Inquiring minds want to know. . .

You may earn yourself an honorary place in the pic if you answer correctly.

I'm down to one.

It's yellow, it has diagonal black stripes and you can make out the "R" & the "C" in roller coaster. A good chunk of it is frayed and curling up onto the main part. This is now revealing the clear plastic under-side.

Last August when I got the new ones, I gave the old ones (plastic shrads mostly) back to the lady at the booth. She held it up and was amazed of its condition and that I still had it. She made abig deal about it and she showed her coworkers who didn't really seem to care. I think she was going to bring it in to the main office.

Ironically, in my home office and my classroom (despite my horrid typing, I am a 6th grade teacher), I have a setion of wall decorated with these things. (It looks like a general's shirt). Wait it gets better. One of students, went to a park, (Adventureland, Long Island I think) and she is keeping her's on too.

I'm also proud to have had an extensive radio (Network and local) career, and I still do Christmas eve (board op shift) in New York on a top-rated radio station. (I've been there for over 23 years).

As an enthusiast, I don't think I would hit a buffet and sleep it off during a day in the park.

Wait, here's scene 38...

"Jesus man, why didn't you just get a pretzel."

"Because I'm hungry."

"But that's cutting into our riding time."

"No. The way I figure...it takes 30 minutes to eat and another 30 minute to digest your food."

"No. It takes about a full day to digest your food."

"Yeah, but I mean to get past the cramp zone."

"Huh?"

"You know...where you can eat and then go on rides so you don't get sick."

"What does that have to do with cramping?"

"When I was a kid...when my parents took me to the beach...I was told that if you eat, you have to wait a half hour before swimming, so you don't get a cramp."

"But if we eat while we are line, we can do two things at the same time."

"You mean virtual eating?"

"No...eating and resting at the same time."

"How can you eat and rest at the same time? It has to be a full half hour from your last bite."

"What if we rested first and then ate?"

"That's not going to work...it has to be done in reverse order."

"What about drinking?"

"If you take small sips, it doesn't count, if you gulp you might increase your chances of getting a cramp."

"How?"

"Most drinks are cold. Coldness causes the muscles in your neck to contract, that increases your chance of a cramp."

"Which means?"

"You have to start over."

"UH...EXCUSE ME GENTLEMEN, BUT CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?"

"What do you want?"

"I don't know what do you want?"

I am sorry about the spelling. I think faster than I can type.

Why is this devolving from the original idea of the dry, character based, almost non-humor style of the Christopher Guest mockumentaries into the zany, over the top, sight gag filled world of the Zucker Bros?

(not that it's a bad thing - big fan of both, but this done in the 'mockumentary' style could be downright genius)

Great idea for a film, Barry. Since I have decided to go to film school (I start in a few months), I've been writing a lot of things that I experienced from day to day. Working the past summer at Cedar Point gave me so many things to write about. Here are a few...

Two "tweenaged" boys are walking toward the Mantis. They appear to be new to the whole coaster enthusiast thing; Junior Coaster Enthusiasts. One boy (the "follower", if you will) points up and says, "We're riding THAT THING?" The other boy (the "Leader") uncomfortably laughs and says, Uh huh. If I die, you can have my Baseball cards."

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There is something every other adult does while passing the ride host at the entrance to every coaster. As they pass the hight stick, they sqat down, put on a goofy face, and say, "Am I tall enough?" Some ride hosts roll their eyes and some just pretend they've never heard it before.

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Groups of Coaster Enthusiasts frequented Paddlewheel Excursions, the ride I worked on. They always had a good time and laughed their butts off. There were a lot of coaster related jokes that i was not allowed to tell, but when I noticed that coaster enthusiasts were on my ride, I couldn't resist. I would call Iron Draggon "The Mcdonalld's rollercoaster" because of it's new paintjob. Just looking at it makes me hungry. I would speak highly of TDD and only seconds later while intrducing the next scene (Rusty Rustle's Salvage yard) I would say, "...And speaking of junk, here we have...". If a animation was not working, I would say it was designed by Intimin.

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The Rolling Stones "I Can't Get No Satifaction" was playing on the midway as I was walking to the break area. I noticed a lot of couples holding hands and families walking about. Then I noticed one Raptor T-Shirt wearing, coaster pin defaced, fannypack toting, flip-flop sporting, sunburned, slightly overweight Coaster Enthusiast standing across from the Gemini eating Fries and Mini Corn Dogs. He was alone. He was the perfect example of the stereotypical coaster-geek. (No offence to anyone here.)

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I'm done with the ideas from my notebook...

That brings me to an idea. What about the problem of worring about how much weight one has gained over the "offseason"? One of your subjects could moan and groan about how scared he is that this might be the year he isn't going to get to ride such-and-such coaster because he has gianed 15 pounds.

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What about ERT at an event? One person in line could brag that when he rode it last year, the trims were turned off, or the ride was in the dark with no lights, or whatever make his ride last year better than everyone elses ride this year.

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One goofball could be practically worshiped because he rode "The Bat", "Drachen Fire", or some other defunct coaster.

I'm all out of ideas for now...

Good luck on this project. I'd love to be in it, even if it was just an extra.

Perhaps the framework of the movie could be a multi-park trek as a fundraiser to save a classic park or ride that is headed for condos. (It would reflect the real world and set the tone for the events that follow). It would also offer a sense of loss which is indirectly what we all feel when our mechanical friends are taken off their respirators. The characters are off on a cross-country trek to raise awareness and to protest.

Perhaps a funeral scene. The wrecking ball hitting the structure and the look of sadness (tears even) over the main characters' faces.

The last scene could be an engineer working on a computer with a new design. (There's always hope)

Mr. Gonch is right...the zanyness needs to framed inside the real world. But both can easily coexist if it is done well.

Charaters:

(A family with one member as an enthusiast.)

(A group of 4 early 20s die hards - willing to sleep on floors to save money)

(A few young ladies who feel that they shouldn't be singled out because they are young ladies)

(Two old timers - one knowing health issues will make this his last big hurrah)

A devleoper who takes his kids to the park he will eventually demoilish.

A saftey inspector who favors "old school" technologies.

The possibilities are endless, but it does have to be based in reality.

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Lord Gonchar said:
Why is this devolving from the original idea of the dry, character based, almost non-humor style of the Christopher Guest mockumentaries into the zany, over the top, sight gag filled world of the Zucker Bros?

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I recently started watching Arrested Development. Now that's a great combo of the two. Awesome show.

I think Gonch makes an excellent point. There's many ways you could play this - from the more subtle to the off-the-wall slapstick comedy. Each could work very well in it's own right. It would be important to define your approach from the start to keep it focused. If you try to do too much, you could lose your audience.

Scott

Maybe I'm stating the obvious, but you need a story arc to tie it all together. These random ideas need something to hold them together. No matter which way you go with it, all the examples do in the end have a story arc (Spinal Tap, Mighty Wind, Airplane, Naked Gun) - with a set-up/conflict/resolution blah blah blah.

Again, I know this is obvious, but while everyone is throwing random ideas around, what is the big picture? Just seems like the idea of following enthusiasts on their summer journeys is not enough to hold it together without something taking us from point A to point B.

*** Edited 11/30/2006 5:34:51 PM UTC by Lord Gonchar***

^ Your first paragraph made me think about Upright Citizens Brigade...their *episodes* usually contained about 4-5 "story lines", but by the end, all of them tied neatly together into one truly twisted package...

I've got ride op experience. If you want some consulting from the point of view of the employee who has witnessed numerous experiences of coaster geek shenanigans, and I'd be offering a whole new take on things, making the employee reactions in the mockumentary that much more accurate.

Sirloin, who couldn't bear to sit that 12 year old girl next to that one coaster geek, but who still feels bad for the poor 14 year old boy who was thrust into a most unpleasant statistics session.

COaster Counters Of America (COCOA) are on their cross-country trip to determine once and for all if certain ride at a park in a West Coast state should be considered a countable credit. Along the way they run into rival club the NackWhackers and decide that both groups must consult with The One and all his young followers located near the park to determine the answer...

The idea of rival coaster groups somewhere along the way could be good stuff. :)

Gonch, as for your question about tying it all together-- the Guest mockumentaries center around one major event. Blaine's 150th anniversary, the folk musicians' reunion concert, etc. the whole story leads up to that. And then there's the all important epilogue-- what happened to the characters afterwards.

What kind of event could that be? How about a park recreating a "notorious" ride from the past (that was demolished because of all the supposed casualties)? and the buzz generated by all the enthusiasts, media, and others in the business descending on the park for the opening. (Gee, guess it would have to be a woodie.) The problem there would be not being able to actually show said coaster.

Well, I thought earlier we seemed to think all parks, locations and rides were best kept in the fictional realm.

Keep it fictional and you got a pretty "Guest-esque" story going there, RGB. Nice! :)

^Agreed as well.

Imagine how much fun you can have making UP the names of the coasters, parks, etc. ;)

I love the idea of having three or four storylines all tied into one event or new coaster. You can have three or four groups of enthusiasses from different parts of the country (or world) all heading to either a main coaster event or even the opening of a NEW coaster (and it would have to be the longest, fastest, highest, etc.)

Oh this is sounding better and better by the minute! :)

I can just imagine how much fun we could have with the buffet scenes alone!

I will NEVER forget one event I went to where we got to the buffet ON TIME and there was hardly any food left.

A park employee says....

"Get what you can, there might not be enough for seconds!" :)

I guess that's why a lot of them carry two, or three overloaded plates at once. ;) Three helpings in one trip.

-Tina

*** Edited 11/30/2006 11:46:55 PM UTC by coasterqueenTRN***