The great Coaster trade starring Homey G & 'Gator
Seeing as it's the offseason and there's not much else going on other than crying about days of old on this website, and the subsequent rebuttal about ADDing quality to this website, Rollergator and myself sat down at the bargaining table.
Turns out neither of our home parks SFoG and IoA respectively, are receiving MAJOR attractions this year. So with our lawyers, actuaries, and better halves in tow, we got down to business. Sprucing up SF with quality attractions seemed to be my rallying point, where the reptilian one and his park looked to fill their only weakness.
****The following herein DID take place by way of MSN messenger, but IS binding to the letter according to the local ambulance chaser that is representing me. Liberties have been taken in reference to direct quotes, but trust me, they're sparingly****
Homey G -- HG
Rollergator -- RG
HG - Hello Bill. Ya know, my Gamecocks almost pulled off quite the upset over your Gators in basketball the other night!
RG - Brian, Brian. Horseshoes and hand grenades, my good man. Horseshoes and hand grenades. Would you like to discuss that game, the football game from earlier in the year or would you like to get down to business?
HG - *slightly offended and scoffs* Well, SOMEbody got up on the wrong side of the swamp.
RG - *clearly with the upper hand* Yes well, let's hurry this up, I have coasters to ride later on today.
HG - Yes well. Good form. Onto business then. Would you care to whet your whistle with a nice refreshing Coke with a hint of Iocaine powder flavoring.
RG - Fool. You know Iocaine is has no taste!
HG - AHA! Not unlike your jokes!
RG - Right. As I see it, my park would benefit greatly from some wood and I see no reason why IoA couldn't do without a few lesser attractions to gain what we need.
HG - No problems here. I want The Incredible Hulk. All of it. Theming down to that annoying little high pitched wailing noise where the line splits to "front only" and the epileptic seizure inducing POV of Hulk that runs on the monitors.
RG - I can part with Hulk, but it's gonna take some doing.. (mumbling something unrecognizable re : POVs, seizures and that "dance music"). In fact, half your wood.
HG - You can't have the Georgia Cyclone. I would sooner you sever my arm and have you beat me about the head and face with it.
RG - That's gross, and well beneath my stature frankly. I know that it's your favorite coaster, and we ARE friends, so I will only lift GASM from you and..
HG - Wait, AND?? That's a classic coaster! The buzzbars?? The dogleg layout is one of the more recognizable things about SFoG! And what about the great jarring stop it gives when there's still a train in the station?? I just don't think I can part with..
RG - *Interrupting* You don't even really like it, Brian. You said it had almost no air except on the bunnies coming home.
HG - *Humbled* Yes well. Ok. Bravo.
RG - Are we done here? I'm hungry and kinda in the mood for pancakes...
HG - Not so fast! I want DD!
RG - I just gave you a coaster that was rated number one by the travel channel for a coaster that's old and needs grease.
HG - Yes, but buzz bars.
RG - (again, some incoherent mumbling, and noises that sound suspiciously like an alligator during mating season).... Buzz bars...)**agitated* You want DD?? You're gonna pay!
HG - *Trying to keep the peace* Ok man, enhance your calm. Going against my better judgement, you can have arguably one of the best Schwartkopf loopers in the world! The first triple looping coaster in the world! Mindbender.
RG - *Cooing* Minnnnndbender. Mmmmm. *Snapping out of it* You know that's not really an inversion. But, everyone in the free world knows I love Mindbender. You can't see the entire layout from anywhere on the course! What a true masterpie..
HG - *Going for the kill* Yeah, yeah. I know. We gotta a deal or not?
RG - No! I gotta have some other kinda inversion coaster. I want Batman : The Ride too. I know it's passe and all, but a man's gotta have morals.
HG - Done! *groan* Deal??
RG - Hmm. I think I'll need a flat thrown in.. we ARE giving up the best themed coaster outside of Alpengeist, for pete's sake.
HG - Leave Pete outta this. That scumbag owes me money.
RG - Who's Pete? It's an expression.
HG - Never mind that. So which flat do you want? You're already raking me over the coals here.
RG - Just for that, I'll take Great Gasp (Parachute Drop). Deal?
HG - that's one of the FEW remaining parachute drops LEFT! Great Gasp has residual value! How about Freefall instead?
RG - Ughh. Don't offer me a First Gen Freefall. Bleck! Obviously I'd prefer a flyers, Top Scan, Top Spin, or PowerSurge....but you can't give what ya ain't got.
HG - Ok, Skylab and... AND.. Monster's Plantation but then you have to part with either Jurrasic Park River Adventure or Dudley Do Right.
RG - Please....MP was cool, and it does have historical value....but only to SFoG....
HG - *sigh* Do you even want the Skylab or do I need to keep looking?
RG - The Riverview Carousel from Cincy!!
HG - No way, Jennifer would never allow that. She loves Carousels.... unless
RG - Well, we could TRADE Carousels perhaps....
HG - DONE! Jennifer wants the Carosuessel badly!
RG - You know, WANTS is always bad when bargaining *winks*
HG - Don't wink at me. I'm not in ACE. Let's recap.. I've successfully removed Hulk, Dueling Dragons, Carosuessel (gotta keep the woman happy), and.. your choice JPRA or Dudley DoRight..
RG - JPRA, begrudgingly *grumbles* I got you for MB, GASM, the Cincy Carousel, B:TR and...
HG - umm Skylab, right?
RG - You really want that Skylab GONE, huh?
HG - thought you wanted a flat besides the wonderous Storm teacups or whatever.
RG - I'll have you know.. never mind. Ok, I'll take it. Maybe we can theme it to that new Newtron cat!
HG - *pained look* You want to make money don't you?
RG - Don't push your luck. Just for that you have to KEEP DelayJa Vu.
HG - Curses! Say uh, just as an addendum... what would I have to give to go ahead and pick up Spidey or do I wanna know... since this agreement went off relatively without a hitch. *Muttering almost inaudibly* Buzzbars.
RG - Spidey is worth Superman :Ultimate Flight. But I don't you'd want to talk about that....
HG -Really? How's this?? DONE!!!
RG - Really....you think THAT highly of Spidey....I love it, but after a hundred or so trips....it's kinda worn out.
HG - **Censored for double entrendre which is hereby banned**
RG - **Reply censored for double double entrendre which is hereby banned**
Together - Hahahaha
RG - Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
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Thanks for reading! I think I came out well on top. Thoughts?
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I'm not an enthusiast, I just play one on message boards.
*** This post was edited by Homey G. on 1/23/2003. ***
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--George H
---Superman the ride...coming to a SF park near you soon...
Oh lord ;) Hilarious!
Ode to the Offseason: Offseason offseason what shall I do? The sun is still shining the sky is still blue. GET A LIFE!
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Coming in 2003-The Spawn Of Magnum!
*** This post was edited by MagnumForce on 1/23/2003. ***
Wow. That was great. (--detect sarcasm here)
How long did that take? Don't you have anything else to do?
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I'm not an enthusiast, I just play one on message boards.
*** This post was edited by Homey G. on 1/23/2003. ***
Danimales, I was trying to do something funny on an otherwise slow day/week, whatever. It was clearly lost on you.
Now shoo! I'm sure they need your help on the "what's wrong with Coasterbuzz thread". Make sure to mention my name. That's Brian, with an I.
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I'm not an enthusiast, I just play one on message boards.
That was random. Anyway, random is more funny. I couldn't sum up the boredom of the offseason any better.
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If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
While you are in a trading mood there gator, what would you want from Great America for Montu? :)
Meh, throw in Kraken too and give me your best offer :)
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Bob Hansen
A proud CoasterBuzz Member
Operation Wicked Twister
Goal: Lose enough weight (50lbs) to ride Wicked Twister in 2K3
Progress: 14 pounds since 1-1-2003
*** This post was edited by Kick The Sky on 1/23/2003. ***
He's kinda persnickety Bob, but I'll venture a guess that it'll cost you probably VV (his love for Intamin) and maybe something else. Don't give up Viper, cause he'd likely go after that. Umm.. just saw your update about Kraken. Keep in mind that would wipe Florida of all the B&M's save Kumba. Dig deep.
Good luck and congrats on your Wicked Twister progress, bud!
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I'm not an enthusiast, I just play one on message boards.
*** This post was edited by Homey G. on 1/23/2003. ***
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Bob Hansen
Operation Wicked Twister
Goal: Lose enough weight (50lbs) to ride Wicked Twister in 2K3
Progress: 14 pounds since 1-1-2003
Not if Bob's trade were based on what WE worked out. They'd only have B:TR.
Thanks though for the compliment.
Brian, who thinks that additional trades on the side confuse the issue. Let this one ride for a while before everyone starts jockeying for coasters that parks don't have anymore! Haha. ;)
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I'm not an enthusiast, I just play one on message boards.
-Danny
Bob....Let's see, starting with Montu alone....Vertical Velocity IS the best of the Impulses...(well, save Steel Venom, which isn't open yet, and the not-quite Vertical Velocity in CA). I preferred it over S:UE and WT, and only full-circuits are better Intamin coasters. But if I'm giving up a subterranean MONSTER like Montu, I need a little more than a shuttle. You've got a pretty decent selection up there...any interest in parting with Whizzer (it IS a maintenance headache, perhaps I could be *swindled*, LOL).
DejaVu....well, at least we could RUN it here...not so cold, ya know...;) But alas, TWO shuttles is too much, isn't it? Well, I have been asking for BGT to get a drop ride, how's about that Intamin freefall you've got up there.....2nd gen, right....hmmmmm. Of course, BGT also desperately needs a kiddie coaster, and I did enjoy Spacely's...(theming included on that one?)
Raging Bull....wouldn't ask for, don't really want....I sincerely hope you folks are telling the truth when you say I caught that ride on a BAD day....I suffered less anticippointment from Timbers, for crying out loud...
For Montu, pyramids, theming, the whole nine yards (even Tut's Tomb walk-thru)...I would ASK for Whizzer and V2....I *could* accept less....whatcha got for flats I could use.....BGT needs flats pretty badly too...does SFGAm have any use for some spare animal life? If you want Akbar's Adventurous puke-machine, er, um, simulator.....I am SURE we could arrange something on that.....give ya a whole Egypt section right there in Chi....;)
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Welcome to the New & Improved Coasterbuzz...tomfoolery allowed!
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Bob Hansen
A proud CoasterBuzz Member
Operation Wicked Twister
Goal: Lose enough weight (50lbs) to ride Wicked Twister in 2K3
Progress: 14 pounds since 1-1-2003
Hmm.. lets see. What can I trade?
I will trade...... NOTHING....
**points finger gun at everyone through coat pocket**
Give me all your coasters!
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Wood Rules!
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