Six Flags Great Adventure, Jackson, New Jersey, USA
I am asking for apologies in advance for those who are fans of the 1994 movie.
Corporate management meeting at Six Flags: “Here we believe in two things…making as much money as we can…and taking it from our customers.”
"We see by your pass that you are own a Season Pass that is good until 2022."
"That's right mam."
"So why did you do it?"
"I came on this line because of my wife. It was her doing not mine. I was just sitting in the driveway trying to make sense of it all."
"We're you drunk?"
I don't drink."
"What about all the bottles in your car?"
"So you want to rectify your wife's mistake?"
"Are you rehabilitated?"
"No Mam...I still like going on rides."
Many of you know that I have been arguing with the Six Flags Great Adventure Customer Service people for years. I often point out their inefficiencies (Delayed ride openings), Inane policies (Paying for parking when I was trying to redeem my seasons pass with parking already on it), and the new one...the reason for this trip, the trip report and the title thereof.
Like most people, due to this Covid thing that you may have heard about, my old season pass is now good until 2022. My wife, who is not a fan at all of parks, decided to get me a Diamond membership...with a few nice extras (parking, meal, flash pass, and a couple of other things). A generous offer…a nice gift… The only thing is that she did not know that my old pass was still good and I didn't need the membership.
The problem was that I now have two passes...a pass and a membership...so I tried to contact corporate who did nothing to help me after the online wait said 15 minutes which turned in 90.
"Well your pass is active and you cannot cancel the membership until after a year. It says so in the contract."
"Can I use it for a guest or my son?"
"Company policy - REJECTED!"
"Come on...you're being obtuse."
"What the #$%@ did you say?"
"That's it...you go to customer service at Great Adventure...wait on THAT line and then tell me who is obtuse!"
Nice weather - little traffic - Opening Day…It's actually nice to be on the road again...
The line at Customer Service moves slowly. Minutes tick by. Hours pass. Nobody moves and nobody leaves happy.
To another guy on the line: “Why are you here?”
Other Guy in the Line: “I paid for 8 tickets and they only gave me seven.”
To the guy on the line: “Do you think they will fix it?”
Other guy on the line: “I hope so.”
To the guy on the line: “Hope is a dangerous thing at Great Adventure Customer Service.”
Other guy on the line: “No. Hope is a good thing. Maybe even the best of things. There is always hope.
To the guy on the line: Hey! That last part was from Lord of the rings. Save that for another trip report.
Other guy on the line: Whatever. In any case it comes down to one thing…keep waiting or die on the line.”
To the guy one line: “I keep flashing back to why I even come here…I mean customer service is kind of funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized.”
Other guy on the line: “That’s right. They send you here for life, and that's exactly what they take. Look what they did to Mr. Six!”
To the other guy on line: “If you ever get out of here, do me a favor.”
Other guy on line: “Sure, Anything.”
To the guy on line: “There's a Wawa in New Jersey. Do you know what a Wawa is?”
Other guy on line: “There's... there's a lot of Wawas in New Jersey.”
To The Guy on line: “This one is on 537…you know near I-195. You know where I-95 is?” This one in particular has a wooden goose inside wearing a mask. It’s to attract attention to get future employees.” In the bathroom to the left of the urinal I accidently dropped a nickel. It rolled on the floor and landed tails-up. That nickel has no Earthly business being near that toilet. Find the spot. If you want it…it’s yours. I want you to have it.”
After a good chunk of a life sentence, it was my turn to face the parole board...for some reason the sisters at customer service today took a liking to me. I was assuming the following…
Sister one: Now, you’re gonna open your wallet and you're gonna pour out what I want to take. And after you line my register, you're gonna pour out your credit cards because Sister Two is working this shift too and I think she oughta have something to show for it.”
Me: Anything you take from me I’m gonna lose.
Thy judgement commeth….
But that’s not what happened…the clouds lifted, the fog dissipated, and after 45 minutes and several checking and re-cheking I was given a full refund for the membership that would be applied in two weeks on my wife's credit card.
Narration: “In 2021, Riche Reflux received satisfaction from the Customer Service Department of Six Flags Great Adventure. All there is to show is a Seasons Pass, a bunch or printed out forms and a set of instructions about reserving preferred parking. I remember thinking it would take a man 600 years to walk away with a smile from the Guest Services line. Richie Reflux did it in 58. It’s been rumored that on the line for Guest Services a man will do anything to keep his mind occupied. He was able to crawl to freedom beyond the walls of 500 yards of corporate greed-smelling foulness I can’t even imagine…maybe I just don’t want to…500 yards…that’s the length of about 83 preferred parking lot spot (including cracks and potholes)…just shy of half a mile. [Hold up receipt against pouring rain with arms up and triumphant music] That afternoon…a man nobody would notice or even care to remember…strolled into his car and pulled out of the parking lot.
Thank you for your tolerance and for reading this.Last edited by Richie Reflux, Sunday, March 28, 2021 2:12 PM
Here's To Shorter Lines & Longer Trip Reports!
Guest Relations definitely had their work cut out for them yesterday thanks to the unholy combination of opening day, beautiful weather, limited staffing, and IT issues. I go into opening day with low expectations, but I've never seen it as bad as it was yesterday. I felt bad for the employees who had to deal with hordes of angry people yelling and screaming at them all day. I wonder how many of them quit before day 2.
That's why we let our membership go a few years ago and now we just paid up front for the season pass with free parking. The other perks aren't worth it to deal with the nightmare that is the Six Flags Membership Site.
Feel bad for your wife trying to do a nice thing for you and put you through an ordeal without knowing.
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