Who knew a lil theme park could be so hazardous?
I'll just give you the highlight reel...
I suppose I can't talk about water trouble without rewinding a bit to Riptide ERT. Ree Ree was standing in front of the ride with my camera and hers, contentedly snapping photos that never really came out anyway when it occured to me exactly where she was standing while 'keeping my camera safe.'
Me (from my seat in the gondola): Move!
Ree Ree: Huh?
Me: Roll outta the wet spot!
Ree Ree: Wha? *moves closer*
I start waving her away...okay, as best as you can under a horsecollar. Not very well.
Me: GO AWAY!
Ree Ree: What?
*ride starts moving*
Ree Ree: Gaaaaahhhhh!! *finally runs*
About an hour later, we're on the Wave--VF's lil'shoot the Chutes with a nice, close bridge. After a typical ride, Da Midget picked her geek shirt off the ride platform (she didn't wanna get it wet) and ran up the bridge ramp right in time for....
If you're in just the right spots, the wave will hit you with a force hard enough to knock a grown man back a couple steps. Midget saw it coming, instinctively raised an arm to shield herself and completely forgot she was holding her shirt...
Ree Ree (from the sidewalk): What happened?
Us: Midget's shirt got washed over the bridge! It's floating in the holding pool!
Ree Ree: Want me to bring the camera?
Us: *looking at each other for half a second* NO!
Ree Ree: Huh?
(NOTE: Big ups to maintenance for fishing it out)
Lunchtime was dangerous too...and I'm not just talking about all the frenzied grub-grabbing, sugar-whacked-out kids holding spoon-licking and nose-holding, frosting lipstick and clown face contests...or even the pre-teens forgetting they're angsty and starting the frosting zinc-oxide bit...knowing full well grown folk were snapping photos. Not at all.
The real danger is giveaway time.
Last year, BunnyHugger's sister--dangerous shot-calling mob boss that she is, popped on her sunglasses and stood three feet from the marketing folks through the whole drawing. Rumor has it they desperately shuffled through the names 'till they drew some that made her smile. Don't ever mess with 85-pound Asian women if you know what's good for you.
Anyway, we still managed without our 'muscle.' CBaby picked out a souvenir bottle with pins and magnets inside. Little C picked out a T-shirt bigger than her. Even some new recruits got all Halle Berry-faced on their way to free stuff.
And Ree Ree? She won and lost all at once. Her name got called--loud and clear, plain as day--but since she had already run up to the table 5 times by then, asking "Did you call me? Did you call me?" they chased her away. Hey, she looked like a freebie-poacher. See what happens when you let your 'Bingo Hip' flare up?
After cleaning up a little, it was waterpark time. I actually wanted to sneak in the kiddie pool with Little C and Da Midget...but CBaby's been avoiding Raging Rapids all summer. Why? Midget's too short and she doesn't want her to feel left out. Since Midget had a play-buddy, it was time for her to indulge.
The most dangerous waterpark hazard of all? Standing in line with the clothing-impaired! It only took about 40 seconds before CBaby and I were narrating a new episode of Somebody call nine-one-one piece sponsored by Lee Press-On Midriff. No, I'm not telling you any details.
Nor will I tell you about the Lazy River Toe Horsey Races or the other cruel and stupid game we played with help from CBaby's surprise entourage...first of all, cuz we don't need imitators ruining it for us and second, there just isn't time.
I really wanted to get to Foam Ball Factory with this one, but I won't. One more segment, just one more. I think. It will include the Best ERT session ever. You'll see.
*** Edited 8/5/2005 1:02:27 AM UTC by CoastaPlaya***
*** Edited 8/5/2005 12:31:46 AM UTC by Corkscrewy***
Nice job, buddy. Funny stuff, and I can just imagine your kids getting soaked, but not seeing it coming. :)
Edit: Grammer *** Edited 8/5/2005 2:02:49 AM UTC by Corkscrewy***
I remember being about 16 at Cedar Point with my best friend (his parents took us there for the weekend) and we just got off Snake River Falls and were walking over the bridge. Now, he insisted on buying one of those little bags to keep all his stuff dry and had begun taking it all out when he was mid way on the bridge and noticed the boat coming down. I swear in slow motion he says "ohhhhhhhhhhh shi*t!!!!" turns, covers his dry clothes with his body when SPLASH! His stuff was soaked and he was pissed.
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