One for the books...
Associated parks:
None
I wanted to move up in the ranks of "coolness" in the coaster community, so I figured what better way than to get the last ride of the season. So as nightfall came I began to ponder my options. TTD would be too much competion, and I assumed MF would also carry some heavy hitters as well. Me being a nerd and all, there would be too many bullies for me to handle. Then,
like a lightening bolt it hit me: Raptor.
What seemed the most inticing was the challenge factor. That ride moves people through so fast, the only way to ensure the last ride would to watch it closely then make a mad dash up the exit stairs. Problem is, the ride is a good distance from the midway, so precise calcuations would be necessary. Luckily, I was wearing my IOA tighties and Raptor t-shirt and fanny pack, which should give me all the special power I need.
Then, the moment of opportunity came. The line was quickly fizzling out, so I made a run for it. There were a couple visitors who tried to get in my way. First a couple middle-school kids; but they were no problem as they were an easy hurdle. Then came this 68 year old man with a cane who was waiting for his grandkids. Yeah, likely excuse. I knocked him to the ground-- hard; he was no match for me, and I'm sure he learned his lesson to never try to get in my way again.
Up the exit steps I went, and sure enough a ride op tried to stop me. But a quick left hook to the forearm let him know I meant business. Realizing what a moron I am, he let me through so I could have my selfish way. Then I noticed that the last train of the season had someone trying to get into MY seat. You know, seat 2-4; it provides the best overall Raptor experience, on the fastest train with the loosest harnesses. Not that I ever bother with the harnesses anyway; that's for wussies.
I would not be rejected of the last ride in that seat. It was my destiny. Besides, I'm the biggest Raptor fan of them all, it was MY RIGHT. So a series of verbal insults and a swift kick to the nuts left him in pain on the station floor, and MY seat open. The last ride of the season, and it was beautiful.
Of course, there were a bunch of hotties screaming for my digits after the ride. I let them have their way for a while, but left them there, wanting more as I tossed my Raptor fanny pack into the crowd. Besides, I'm sure there are plenty of ladies on this site, and they should have first dibs.
Maybe next year I'll try TTD or MF, and then I will reach supreme status. Until then... enjoy the offseason. Raptor may rule the sky, but I rule Raptor.
I got on at 7:56, then licked every seat in the first half of the train. My partner in crime, "Last Man Eddie", stuck his finger down his throat and projectile vomited on the last six rows.
Who's yo Daddy? Who's yo Daddy?
-CO
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The scholar, the eternal question and a lot of REALLY stupid jokes. Celebrate Pancake Day 10/27. Check local listings for events.
*** This post was edited by CoastaPlaya 10/30/2003 10:35:09 AM ***
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Gimme speed, height, airtime and plenty of LAUNCH!!!
rentzy17 said:
And so the offseason begins...
Man, I can't wait! This may even be better than the on season!
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Be polite and ignore the idiots. - rollergator
"It's not a Toomer" - Arnold Schwartzenkoph
"Those who know don't talk and those who talk don't know." -Jeff
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"Step on that lapbar and make it nice and tight!"
You got on at 9:56 when the park closed at 8:00. Raptor Must have had a line longer then the hour wait on Top Thrill Dragster. :)
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Do the Moo Shoo!
Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week! Be sure to leave a nice tip for your lovely waitress!
Eh, I couldn't help myself. With all the enthusiast bashing going on right now, I had to jump in (notice I said enthusiast, not enthusiass. Let's be honest; we're all becoming obsessive dorks in one form or another!) .
*** This post was edited by Danimales 10/31/2003 12:27:04 PM ***
Right when you bashed the man with a cane.
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I'm highjacking every post. :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):);)
Danimales said:
(taking a bow)
Eh, I couldn't help myself. With all the enthusiast bashing going on right now, I had to jump in (notice I said enthusiast, not enthusiass. Let's be honest; we're all becoming obsessive dorks in one form or another!) .
Bravo Danimales!
You hit the nail right on the head.
Lately I have been noticing a lot of enthusiast bashing on here as well. Why, I have no idea. To be honest, it's been a chore of sorts to even post or read site anymore when I see enthusiast bashing. What fun is that? This is supposed to be a fun hobby. No?
However, in a strange way, I do find humor in some of this. Take for instance those that think they are somehow better than others because they haven't joined a certain club or another. So you don't like Club X. You obviously thihk you are better in your life than everyone else. Move on.
Or..
Some people claim they hate enthusiasts yet, what are they doing? They post to a coaster site, and talk coasters, but no, of course they would never be considered a enthusiasts.
Puh-leeze.
Anyway, I actually got a kick out of your trip report Danimales. Thanks for posting. Sorry abou the rant.
-Sean (who is proud to be a 'coaster dork'. =:^)
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