Oaks Park,Portland,Oregon
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After seeing how CCI has put coasters in the middle of nowhere and put these parks on the map (Silverwood, Holiday World, Dutch Wonderland) I think a CCI could work very well here. If all they have is a Pinfari looper, than I think they really need someone like you to help them out. I don't know whatb rides they have, but older rides really don't cut it. Even http://www.usedrides.com has some great deals on some good rides. You'll have to get on the board and see how much, if any cash they have set aside for new rides. Could someone give me a link to a site with pics/a trip report? (I think Rideman's has one?)
Good luck! Always remember (this quote from http://www.dreamwater.com/americana )
"May the road rise up to meet you, and there always be a coaster on the horizen".
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CP! Still the coaster capital of the world in 2002!
My fellow Americans; Let's Roll!
WoodenCoaster.com
Oaks Park Trip Report, 07/15/1999
I also wandered the grounds in 1997:
Closed Park Trip Report, 6/22/1997
--Dave Althoff, Jr.
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CP! Still the coaster capital of the world in 2002!
My fellow Americans; Let's Roll!
WoodenCoaster.com
As I've mentioned before, I had the privelege of living in Portland for 3 years. During that time I visited Oak's a handful of times.
Things I really liked:
The setting is great for a small park, right on the bank of the Willamette River with plenty of places for families to picnic.
The bumper cars are the fastest I've ever ridden, lots of fun and possibly the best around.
The dark ride is decent, a little bit of oldschool fun.
Looping Thunder is at least a start for coasters. While I've bashed it before, it was the only coaster that I rode for 3 years. Since I lived down in Lake Oswego it was easy to roll over to Oak's for a few spins every now and then.
They have a fair selection of rides, enough to enjoy during a day, but not enough to draw you again and again.
Negative things:
Location, how much room do they have? Between the river, the nature area and the park just south of it, there isn't much room to add a major attraction like a CCI. Unless they use the picnic area.
The majority of the staff always has a "I don't care" attitude. Rarely do I see smiles, almost a travelling carnival type feeling. They seem to take their time also, definately not trying to make your day a better experience. Now I have come across several great employees, but the people on the coaster and the bumper cars are always downers.
It doesn't appear that they've added anything in decades (but then again I wouldn't know).
The wristband that you can buy for several hours can only be used for Looping Thunder once. That IMO is quite a ripoff. Every time I went to Oak's the smallest line in the park was for Looping Thunder and I think it's because of the wristbands. lmost everybody had one and they already used their single ride.
In the end I really enjoy visiting Oak's as you can walk around and enjoy the atmosphere, food and games for free (well no admission, but you know what I mean). CCI could make a huge difference in this park, granted they worked out the prices for riding it. BUT out of the small parks that I have been to that got a CCI, all of them were already bigger and offered more than Oak's. I few modern flat rides and some older portable coasters could be a better initial investment to see what kind of attendance you could generate. I would love to see a small out and back CCI along the banks of the Willy, I just don't know if they investment would work in this case.
*** This post was edited by Incidentalist on 1/2/2002. ***
--Dave Althoff, Jr.
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www.tripowered.com
For example, several years ago I went to Knotts Berry Farm. It was pretty dull. Sure, Montezoomas Revenge and Boomerang were OK, as was the log and rapids ride, but nothing too impressive to coax me into another trip there anytime soon. Early 2001, My cousin convinced me to go there just to get a ride on Supreme Scream (S&S Turbo Drop) since I had never ridden one. We were at SFMM on a Sunday and it was too crowded. We planned on returning Monday, so miday we headed to Knotts. Rode Supreme Scream (fun), and both of us got our first taste of GhostRider (Amazing!). Because of GhostRider alone, I went back two more times this year, and I live 6hrs away in Phoenix. There is really not much in the West outside of LA and the Bay Area. I am SURE that a top quality CCI would boost attendance. Also, maybe an S&S attraction would be in line. They are relatively inexpensive (compared to rollercoasters), but provide great fun and are pretty popular.
Regarding the POP system: I really never liked any type of ticket per ride system, but there are many ways to approach this topic. Personally, I favor the one price admission (though it is probably not very economical for a small park). I would also prefer an all-day ride wristband, with no general admission, and individual ride tickets also available. Restricting patrons to one ride on the featured attraction seems a bit goofy. Perhaps inflating the $11 to $15 and letting people ride the looper as much as they want. MOST people wont ride the same thing more than about three times. In a traditional pak, people will wait in the long line for a ride, then move on to the flat rides and such that have shorter queues. I can only assume the patrons at Oaks would do the same if the looper line was long.
Oaks, being non-profit, I assume means that 100% of money generated goes right back into the park's preservation and maintenance. If the park is generating more money than is necessary to do this, and it can afford to add some new attractions, I would encourage the endeavor. However, as you begin to add new stuff, the allure of a well-preserved historical park may be lost.
Good luck, and best wishes. Go get that CCI!
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My other car is a Giovanola!
This past year, the four rides they added were a decent investment, and the Screamin' Eagle (KMG Afterburner, I think) had me visiting there weekly.
Most of the staff was friendly enough, but they looked like carnies. The place needs stricter employee grooming codes, as well as stricter adherence to food handling procedures if it hopes to attract people back. Multiple times I watched staff members smoke in public view and go back to serving w/o washing up. Same for catching employees eating in service areas, etc, etc. Still, as I said, they were amiable enough.
As for attractions, they could fit in a space shot type ride easily, and still have room for a coaster. And what the heck is a park located along a river doing without a single water ride?;) Not much more room after that, but after all my visits, I can see how it could be done.
I felt the grounds were reasonably well tended, and the landscaping good. The restrooms were ok for a while, but were less impressive by summer's end.
I agree with the bumper car sentiment, and was allowed to remain on the attraction for extra rides on every visit, because it was never busy. Which surprised me, especially considering that from rides to food, the park is extremely reasonably priced.
Some of the rides are older, but I wasn't too concerned because they looked decent and ran smooth; no funny noises.For a truly scary ride, try the Octopus at nearby Thrillville, in Salem.
I for one would be happy to see a fellow enthuisiast on the board!! If I can help, let me know.
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www.tripowered.com C'mon take a look!
I used to work at Oaks Park back when Funtasic ran the park back in 1983, 1983 was my rookie season at Oaks Park, I was honored by Oaks Park/Funtastic in 1983 for saving around seventy people's lives when the park had a black out on one of it's busiest days of the year.
On July 3rd 1983 on one of Oaks Parks busiest days of the year the park had a blackout, a transformer in kiddyland blew up, it was on fire, and the power lines going to it were also on fire!
Everyone in kiddyland was at the risk of being electrocuted, and it was so dark in that park you could not see your feet or hands, and there were around forty to fifty people in kiddyland at this time!
I was running the Boat ride when the transformer blew up and the park went dark, and the transformer that blew up was right above my ride, I got everyone off my ride as fast as possible, but then realized after that that everyone that is still in kiddyland is still under the risk of electrocution!
I began ordering customers out of kiddyland and directing their flow of traffic away from the danger area, I was hoping the other ride operators would help me but they did not, instead of helping me they just assumed they were supposed to leave kiddyland along with the customers, so I had to clear everyone out of that area on my own!
After I got kiddyland clear I scoured kiddyland to make sure no one was left back there, when I was satisfied that there was no one left back there then and only then did I leave kiddyland!
Once I was out of kiddyland I approached the first ride operator I seen that was standing around in confusion and doing nothing and I told him "YOU! Your now guard! DON'T LET ANYONE IN THIS AREA UNTIL THEY SPEAK TO ME FIRST!" and then I told him I am going to check to see if anyone else needs help!
I went to check the rides that would most likely have customers trapped, the Monster Mouse and the Ferris Wheel, I checked the Monster Mouse first because it was closest to kiddyland at the time, and I discovered that the ride foremen were already on the scene at that ride!
So I thought to myself "OK they got help, so I better check the Ferris Wheel!" so I went to check on the Ferris Wheel and discovered NO ONE was helping the Ferris Wheel and that the ride was filled with customers that were trapped on it, so I went to where the need was the greatest and went to the Ferris Wheel!
I offered myself to the Ferris Wheel operator as his assistant in order to get the ride unloaded, and the Ferris Wheel operator profusely thanked me for arriving to help, and then he proceeded to tell me someone else showed up before I did and that person took off and left and never came back, and the Ferris Wheel operator was afraid I would do the same thing!
I told the Ferris Wheel operator "Wild horses can't drag me away from here! I ain't going anywhere until this ride is unloaded!" the Ferris Wheel operator was scared and in a panic, and I had to take charge of the situation and ordered him to accept me as his assistant so that we can get these customers off the ride!
I saved around forty to fifty people in kiddyland from electrocution, and then I rescued around twenty five to thirty people that were trapped on the Ferris Wheel!
That was once again my rookie season!
I continued to work at that park after Funtastic pulled out of that park in 1984 after the park was surrendered over to the City of Portland, all the years I worked in that park I was recognized as a go-to person and as a reliable and trusted person.
In 1990 before Dick Connor's retired he trained the at the time current maintenance men on how to balance the Monster Mouse ride and shortly afterwords Dick Connor's retired.
Dick Connor was the last manager left in the park that was from the Funtastic era of the park, all the other managers in the park were hired by the City of Portland!
This was also the last season that the long time ride Foremen Mahar worked in the park as well and he was also from the Fubtastic era of that park!
Me and the ride foremen Mahar and the general manager Dick Conner's were the last of the Funtastic era working in that park!
At the end of that season after Dick Connor's was gone management ordered the maintenance team to have the Monster Mouse moved to a new location in the park.
I noticed as the maintenance team was reassembling the Monster Mouse at it's new location that they had left ALL THE BOARDS IN PLACE ON THE POSTS as they assembled the ride.
I already knew that when Dick Connor's and Funtastic balance that ride they always remove the boards during the dissembling part and thought it weird they left all the boards on the posts.
I did not suspect foul play because I was giving the maintenance team the benefit of the doubt they were going to properly balance it after they assembled the ride, but I thought they were stupid for leaving all the boards in place because it would make the dissembling and reassembling of the ride much more difficult.
The maintenance team did not balance the Monster Mouse they used a cheat and lied claiming they balanced it, the cheat they used was to leave all the boards in place on all the posts, that way after the ride is assembled the boards will already be in place and appear balanced when in fact it is not!
The maintenance team did this at the end of the season, and it was not until the next year in 1991 when I got rehired back as a ride operator that I noticed the Monster Mouse was not properly balanced.
I reported this to Tim Greeley of the maintenance team and he just grinned at me in a evil manner and said "Well,,,,well get around to it." and after a couple of weeks went by the Mouse ride was still not balanced and the ride was still open, and I realized I was being ignored by the maintenance team!
So I reported it to the lead ride foreman Bill, Bill was hired as the lead Foremen after Mahar quit, and he told me he will take care of it, and it was right after that that the ride foreman permanently stuck me on the Ferris Wheel and would not give me any days off and would not allow me to run any other ride!
The Ferris Wheel at Oaks Park at the time was the hardest ride in the park to run, and it is a burn out ride if your stuck on it all the time, so the ride foreman Bill was trying to force me to quit with his treatment of me!
Telling the foreman about the problem on the Mouse ride never accomplished anything, and after a couple of weeks went by the Mouse ride is still not balanced properly, I reported it to other ride operators and asked them to report it because I was being ignored by the maintenance team and by the foreman!
I noticed at this time that there were new employees in the park that I never seen before the season before hand, and I noticed that these new ride operators were running high end rides such as the train ride and the Monster Mouse ride and I noticed that these new employees were getting the silver treatment by management and that these ride operators were getting the high end sit-down rides reserved for them by management!
These were new operators that did not work in the park the season before hand, and here they are running the top end tier rides, the sit-down rides, and that these rides were being reserved for them, normal ride operators have to go by the first come first serve rule, but these new operators were getting the silver spoon treatment and getting high end rides and sit down rides reserved for them!
I took note of these new employees being treated by management as senior operators when they are not, they did not even know all the rides in the park, it was as though management hired their henchmen and put them in key positions on the ride team and were completely ignoring the fact that these people are supposed to work their way into those positions by experience and by meret, not because of their connections with managers!
By this time I had my own problems to deal with, the Ferris Wheel is a burn out ride and I was stuck on it seven days a week with no break from it, and I was forced to give Bill the ride foreman a two week notice and quit if he does not get anyone else trained on that ride!
Two weeks later Bill did not train anyone on it so I quit, as I walked out of the park I was approached and asked by the at the time ride manager Mary Beth Coffey and she asked me not to quit and instead just take a couple days off, so I reluctantly agreed.
After I came back to Oaks Park I discovered the manager fired Bill the ride foreman and hired a new lead foreman named Jim and the manager wanted me to be an assistant foreman to Jim, so I quit only to be rehired as a foreman.
As an assistant foreman I do not have a ton of power/say at the park, I can give orders to ride operators and that's about it, and since now I was a assistant ride foreman I took it upon myself to start filling out ride reports on all the rides that have problems with them!
I filled out eleven ride reports on various rides that had problems that needed reported to the maintenance team, none of the rides was broke down, but they all had problems that needed reporting!
I discovered the next day the maintenance supervisor named TC took my eleven ride reports and burned them, it was him that told me to my face he burned them, and he told me he did not need any help from me and to not ever fill out a ride report on a ride ever again unless the ride is broke down!
So I was not welcome to report any problems with the rides unless they were broke down, in other words known problems that do not cause the rides to go down are no longer to be reported in writing!
The maintenance team at the time was deemed the Golden Boys by managers at the time, managers and the maintenance team members would regularly hobnob with each other, and for the most part managers ignored their ride team, so I was under the impression no one in management would care I got treated badly by the maintenance team!
I also need to point out that at the start of this season at Oaks Park after Mahar quit as a ride foremen our ride manager Mary Beth Coffey was hiring as her lead Foremen people she was giving cozy positions on the ride team, positions that gave her Hench men sit-down jobs, she arranged for Bill and Jim to both have rides they could sit down on such as the train ride and the Monster Mouse ride, these rides were being RESERVED for Bill and Jim when they were ride operators, and it is these men she turns to to hire as lead Foremen in the park!
Neither Bill nor Jim knew all the rides they were NOT experienced ride operators, they were henchmen selected by Mary Beth Coffey to get cozy positions on the ride team until such time as Mary Beth needs them as lead Foremen s!
Normally a lead Foremen is someone from the ride team that is experienced ride operator that knows all the rides and has years of experience, Bill and Jim were Mary Beth Coffey's henchmen and they were getting the silver spoon treatment and getting cozy rides reserved for them and these rides were being held in reserve for these henchmen before they became lead Foremen!
All other ride operators have to go by the first-come first-serve rule, but Bill and Jim, both who were selected to be lead Foremen by Mary Beth Coffey, had those sit-down rides reserved for them by management!
Because of this open favoritism taking place in the park with people that were henchmen to management I was under the impression there is no one left in the park that cares what's going on!
I should not have to point this out to people, common sense alone will tell you this, to have an atmosphere at an amusement park where no one is welcome to report problems with rides is dangerous not only for customers but also for employees!
At the beginning of the next season in 1992 near the beginning of the season one of the henchmen Mary Beth Coffey hired as a ride operator and was getting the sit down Monster Mouse ride reserved for him suddenly and without warning started to complain about unimportant things and just quit his job, he behaved as though something just came up and he faked a reason for quitting, and after a few weeks later I discovered a track on the Monster Mouse ride was cracked all the way through and that the track was separating as the cars go over the track!
I shut that ride down in the nick of time, saving dozens of kids lives and possibly a ride operators life and prevented a bloodbath from occurring, and I got on the radio and told my superior Jim the lead foreman the Monster Mouse is down for the remainder of the day and to please notify the ticket booth so that they don't sell tickets for it!
I am not allowed to say over the radio what the problem is I can only say the ride is down, or I can say the ride is down for the remainder of the day, saying the ride is down for the day is code warning managers/maintenance team that the ride is f##ked!
I was following Oaks Park policies and procedures over shutting down that Monster Mouse, the fact that the track was completely cracked and separating is enough to prove maintenance incompetence, which is why I reported to the foreman first, and THEN I reported to the maintenance team!
When the maintenance supervisor TC showed up he was with the CEO of the park Joe Norling, they both were approaching the Monster Mouse together, and as they got about forty feet away TC began berating me for shutting down the ride, he did this loudly so others can hear, and I noticed that the CEO was grinning while TC was berating me, so the CEO was of the same mindset as the maintenance supervisor!
I was mad and angry at this treatment but said nothing and stayed professional and waited for the both of them to get onto the ride and to stand next to me, as they approached me and was standing right next to me TC said "Alright,,,,,what's wrong with it?" in a sarcastic manner, and I stated flatly and bluntly in return saying "The track is cracked,,,the tracks is separating as the cars go over it!"
I was gauging both the maintenance supervisor and the CEO's reaction to the news because they both are giving me reason to suspect foul play and sabotage, the CEO's reaction was shock and horror on his face and his face turned immediately ashen, and he was staring at the maintenance supervisor as though he was seeing him for the first time as some kind of monster!
The maintenance supervisor's reaction was to go into immediate cover his behind mode,no shock, no horror, but fear on his face!
The fact that the ride is in this condition is proof of maintenance incompetence, and TC knows this, so he immediately began giving his men the blame for it as a way to cover his own behind!
In the process of TC giving his men the blame he dug his own grave by making it known he and his men already knew about the crack and that they slagged it with wielding slag!
The wielding slag they used to hide the crack with was on the ground below where the crack is!
Now I am deeming TC as well as his maintenance team as criminals and as dangerous!
The maintenance team already knew about the crack and was hiding it with wielding slag and opened the ride up to the public and did not tell anyone on the ride team about the crack!
Can you say SABOTAGE!
I reported this to my superior Jim the lead foreman and he acted as though he was completely misunderstanding how serious this is, he seemed not bothered by it!
I should point out again at this time Bill and Jim were hired as lead Foremen by Mary Beth Coffey, and neither Bill nor Jim knew all the rides and were not experienced ride operators and they wore given cozy sit-down rides to operate that were being reserved for them before they were hired as lead Foremen!
The CEO did not fire the maintenance team the team continued to work at the park the whole season!
I was under the impression that the CEO was not involved in this sabotage at first but when the CEO did not fire the maintenance team and he made it known their not going to repair that track section and instead are going to spend fifty thousand dollars on a used Mad Mouse ride and use that for parts to REPLACE the SABOTAGED section of the Monster Mouse with, I then suspected managers were behind this sabotage as well!
One week after I shut down the Monster Mouse saving dozens of children's lives I was being gang-stalked by several people I did not know, the park was closed and I was clocked out and heading to my car to go home!
Several people I do not know walked along with me heading in my direction and they were openly verbally praising me for shutting down the Monster Mouse and praised me for saving lives!
What's makes this bad is the fact these seemingly organized people were praising me in a sarcastic manner!
Is that enough to suspect the City of Portland wanted the disaster to occur so that the city can justify shutting down the park so that the city can use the property for other MORE PROFITABLE PURPOSES?!
It was enough for me to know a ton of people were involved in this sabotage and that their not happy I know about it and don't like the fact I saved a lot of lives!
The Monster Mouse ride was down the entire season, the Mad Mouse Oaks Park purchased never arrived until after the season was closed and no one around to witness the Mad Mouse rides arrival into the park!
Oaks Park maintenance team that sabotaged the Monster Mouse quietly replaced the sabotaged section on the track with a Mad Mouse track section!
After the SABOTAGED section of the Monster Mouse ride was replaced management pretended they hired a new maintenance supervisor and claimed they fired the old maintenance team, they did not fire them but they lied to me telling me they fired them, they were actually laid off and they came back the next season!
After management pretended to hire a new maintenance supervisor the new supervisor as well as management wanted me to help them in this so-called crisis of no experienced maintenance people and they wanted me to transfer over to the maintenance team claiming I am the only one the CEO trusts!
I knew THAT was a lie I already know he was grinning while the maintenance supervisor was berating me for shutting down the Monster Mouse, and I never got an apology from ANYONE in that park for being berated for shutting down a death trap and saving lives and following policies and procedures!
While the season was over with I helped out with maintenance until the next season, and when I was temporarily on the maintenance team the park managers asked Mr. Bollinger's right-hand man Mr Walker if he could lecture the new maintenance personnel on balancing on the Monster Mouse!
Mr Walker was so old and frail that it was absurd for the park managers to ask this great man to do this, he was just too old and frail, but managers wanted him to navigate around inside the Monster Mouse and to lecture the men on balancing of the Monster Mouse!
It was too much for the man, he could not navigate the ride, lecture the men, and BREATH PROPERLY at the same time!
I feared Mr Walker was going to collapse and I positioned myself behind Mr Walker fearing he may fall and feared their was no one on the other side of him to catch him if he does, so I positioned myself to stand behind Mr Walker.
Mr Walker did trip, he fell backwards as he lectured the men, and I lunged forward and caught Mr Walker in time and saved his life, if I was not there to save him he would have hit the back of his head on a beam near the ground level.
SEVERAL EMPLOYEES WITNESSED ME SAVING MR WALKER'S LIFE! And of course Oaks Park managers are mums the word about this or about the sabotage by their previous maintenance team!
At least Mr Walkers family appreciated me saving Mr Walkers life they thanked me for saving him.
I was re-transferred back over to the ride team at the start of the new season in 1993!
Once the park was opened I discover that the old maintenance team was not fired at all because they were hired back into the park, that means I was lied to by management and that they lied about needing my help on maintenance!
From this point forward I was getting auto-blamed for everything that happened in that park, if the maintenance messed up the train ride I would immediately get blamed, behind my back, and management was going along with this pretense as well as the maintenance team!
Oaks Park managers had no intention of firing or prosecuting their sabotaging maintenance team, they wanted instead to set up and blame everything on the witness to the sabotage, me!
The Squirrel Cage ride was sabotaged and I was almost killed by it, one of the cars just came right off the ride and slammed into the railing three feet from my controls, and the ride was still turning and the other cars on the Squirl Cage were smacking into the car that came off and was rolling that car into my direction!
I turned off the power to the ride and frantically yelled at the customers on the ride to keep their arms and hands and legs inside the ride, each car that passed the car that came off was smacking right into the car that came off and I had to frantically muscle that car away from the other cars, my own life is at risk!
I reported this to Norma the skating rink manager, and she just carried herself as though nothings wrong, literally everyone in authority in that park just looks the other way on these blatant sabotage's taking place in that park!
The next day I told the maintenance team what happened and I was met by them all grinning at me, they all thought it was funny!
The next week the maintenance team designed an additional safe guard to the ride, by adding another bolt system to the ride, so that there are now two bolts instead of just one large bolt holding the cars on the ride!
The maintenance team named this new bolt system the "Terry-Bolt" and they grinned and admitted they named it after me!
They named it after me because their setting me up to get the blame for THEIR SABOTAGE!
I got fed up with this auto-blaming me for everything in that park so I quit being a ride foreman and went back to being a ride operator at the start of 1994 but the blaming continued!
I was running the Monster Mouse on my last day in that park, and on that day the Ferris Wheel operator had an accident, the loading ramp got torn apart because the Ferris Wheel operator screwed up, and I got blamed FOR THAT even though I was on and running the Monster Mouse at the time!
So saboteurs at Oaks Park are protected by management while Hero's and witnesses to sabotage are gotten rid of!
I have been a target of police/sheriff sting operations ever since I shut down that Monster Mouse ride, and I was under the impression the new maintenance supervisor the park hired was a county sheriff sting operative bent on setting me up to get the blame!
I don't think they realize just how many people I already reported to in regards to the Monster Mouse not being balanced, in other words there are too many people that know they never removed the boards on the posts and there are too many people I told that the ride was out of balance!
The Monster Mouse was so badly out of balance you did not even need a level to see if it was out of balance, just looking at the ride was enough to tell, THAT'S HOW BADLY OUT OF BALANCE THE RIDE WAS!
Dozens of posts would have severe give to them, when a car would go over that section of track you can visibly see the posts give to the weight of the cars and the posts as well as the track would have like a two to five inch give to them as the cars went over those areas on the ride!
ANYONE WITH WORKING KNOWLEDGE OF A MONSTER MOUSE WILL TELL YOU THAT'S BAD! REAL BAD!!!
Terry Wagar
wifepoisonedme@yahoo.com
P.S,
The Maintenance team and the henchmen hired by managers to take the key positions on the ride team such as the lead ride foremen position and the ride operators assigned by managers to have the back breaks on the Monster Mouse ride took over two years to sabotage the Monster Mouse ride, and to cultivate the crack on the Monster Mouse track, and to hide and conceal the crack from the normal ride operators and from the assistant ride foreman's!!
They spent over two years in this organized effort to sabotage the Monster Mouse, and it only took me 60 seconds to find the crack and to shut down that death trap!
Like I said I was trained by people that know what their doing way back in 1983 by knowledgeable people that cared about people's safety!
....... oh, my.
And I thought I was paranoid.
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
--Fran Lebowitz
Now for the story behind his email address, please.
Dave Dragon, go Dave Dragon, and the Star Force Five!
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