Noah's Ark-June 22, Sundays Rock! (long)

Associated parks:
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Monday, June 23, 2003 7:13 PM
Ok, before I start this report, yes I realize this is a water park and not an amusement park. However, this is a park that just opened a new dark ride that not too many people are quite sure of is like, and water slides are cousins to roller coasters so I think that I am not out of bounds in giving a trip report to one of this nation’s premiere and its largest water park, therefore:

Noah’s Ark Overall Trip Rating: 5. The only reason this trip isn’t rated any higher is because 5 is as far as I go in ratings. The weather was in the low 80s, sunny, and there was absolutely no crowds whatsoever. I waited at the most five minutes for any attraction all day. Of course, combine those features with Noah’s exceptional collection of rides and impeccable cleanliness and you get one of the best days I have ever experienced at a water park. Hit every ride except the Lazy River and Paradise Lagoon area. The only bad things were the fact that my legs still ache from the “Stairmaster” workout I got yesterday and there was more smoking around the park then I remember. Ok onto the rides, they are listed in the order I first rode them followed by a quick description of what the ride is, the number of times I rode it, and my rating (1-5, 5 being the best) are listed below:

Stingray (half pipe tube ride, 2, 5)-My first ride on a ride like this and all I have to say is, wow, this ride is just way too much fun. Since I will never be caught dead on skate or snowboard I guess this is the closest I’ll get to feeling what it is like in a halfpipe. This is a ride where weight is a huge plus, I got about 3 complete “U”s and almost hit the edge on my second “U.”

Noah’s Incredible Adventure (dark ride, 1, 1)-This ride was not at all what I expected, and was extremely disappointing. Excuse me for thinking this, but since I was at a water park, I expected the ride to use water but hey that’s just the way the cookie crumbled. Its not that I hate ark rides, Im a huge fan of the Kennywood Ark but unlike its brother NIA doesn’t have any charm. Anyways, spoilers ahead so anyone who wants to find out how bad this ride is without knowing what happens skip ahead to the next ride discription. After waiting for about 5 mins for the ride ops to come back we get ushered into this “elevator.” The door closes and the floor shakes and two obviously tinfoil like rolls start moving, thus convincing some of the more gullible among us that we are actually going up. The lights then flicker so the apparatus can turn a little to its right (I actually felt it shutter to the right, I mean come on the ride is 1 month old you think that gear would still be greased up). The lights go on you “ascend” some more and then exit the “elevator” and enter Noah’s studio, which happens to be the coolest part of the ride. Looking around the walls, they are covered in notes (example-“Separate Meat eaters from Vegetarians accompanied by a picture of a lion staring at a zebra and thinking in a thought bubble about a zebra drumstick and “Don’t release rats from cages until landfall”) then the lights go out fake torches light up and Noah booms from above and tells you about the first flood and how bad it was and then informs you that a second flood is coming but “the ark is old and weary” and he is not sure it will survive this time. I must again say that I wish the rest of the ride held up to this room but oh well. From Noah’s Studio (which is supposed to be on the fourth and top floor of the ark) you enter a room that appears to be all four floors of the ark with you being on the bottom of the room. You are ushered into bench seats with two rows facing another two rows, lap bars are lowered and the ride ops exit. You then start to sway and the scenery around you starts to spin more then you so it appears that you swing upside down this way and that way. That’s all that happens for about 2 mins and then the ride is done, no water effects, no animal breaking loose, no more Noah talking, no more nothing. Just a ride that swings you about 30 degrees in two directions slowly with a room that can spin in 360s. Sad, really sad, Noah’s should stick with water slides.

Kowabunga (family raft speed slide, 1, 5)-To picture this ride picture riding Nitro Racer at Water Country USA in a 4 person circular raft with two chutes. This ride gives you airtime (and all you have to hold on to is handles around and on the bottom of the raft) get 3-4 adults on this ride and you will fly. All and all a fun ride that just is too short in the end.

The Plunge (head first toboggan speed slide with one “bump”, 2, 5)-Riding face first riders go down the plunge, on the way there is one spot where you level off and once again get some airtime. When you hit the bottom lift up on the front of your foam toboggan and go a considerable distance down the spill way.

The Point of No Return (speed slide, 2, 4)-It’s a speed slide, an 80 ft Summit Plummet, but then again, unlike other speed slides I did not feel every junction of the different slide pieces and I did not get a “water enema” at the end so I actually was able to ride this one again later in the day.

Jungle Rapids, right mat slide (body slide with mat, 1, 5)-This ride is fast, wow, and you can pull some serious lateral gs on this sucker going faster then you ever could on any mere body slide thanks to a foam mat.

Jungle Rapids, right tube slide (figure eight double tube slide, 1, 3)-From years past I remember pulling as much lateral gs on this ride as the mat ride that bears the same name but this year I barely made it through the second part of the eight without stopping, Noah turn up the water speed on this ride, please!

Dark Voyage (dark family raft slide, 1, 5)-Just like coasters, water slides are enhanced by being in darkness. Keeping my sunglasses on made it even darker and fun was had by all in my party, enough said.

Congo Bongo Rapids (family raft slide, 1, 4)-This, I believe, was the very first ride to use the four person raft (someone correct me if Im wrong!) and I have not so fond memories of pushing the raft up to top the first time I ever visited the Ark, but anyways it’s a fun ride, but the worst family raft ride in the park (which unlike most has not one, but three).

Bahama Falls (single tube, 2, 2)-If it weren’t for the fact that these short slides emptied into the Adventure River I would never ride these rides, but it gives an added thrill to the River and usually doesn’t have a line so I did it twice.

Adventure River (adventure river, 4, 5)-I admit I’m a sucker for these but hey, where can you go wrong when you make a lazy river and then have water effects around the river to make sure you keep wet during the ride. This ride has all of its effects on one side of its oval .5 mile track and themes it to appear like rocks just squirt out water at you. Also along its course you find two waterfalls, and something that had never been turned on when I have gone before: 4 geyser beds a great improvement, but it still cant beat Soak City’s Adventure River.

Black Thunder Twisted Twin 2 (2 person tube dark slide, 2, 5)-The Black Thunder family of slides is quite simply the best rides at this park (and my 4th favorite slides of all behind Master Blaster, Aquazoid, and Dragon Blaster). This slide is my favorite of the bunch, great layout for a tube slide combined by sunglasses enhanced darkness combine to make this ride excellent.

Black Thunder Twisted Twin 1 (2 person tube dark slide, 2, 5)-Superb but not quite as superb as its twin.Black Thunder Witch’s Gulch (2 person tube dark speed slide, 1, 5)-Lurking in between the two twins lies the twin lightning shaped Witches Gulch speed slides. This is the only ride I have ever been on where they instruct the heavier person to sit in the front spot of the tube. I think that visualizing a lightning shaped (one kink) black tube ride is enough to understand why I like this ride.

Big Kahuna (Wave Pool, 3 cycles, 4)-The second biggest, deapest, largest wave producing wave pool I have ever seen (behind Typhoon Lagoon) doesn’t disappoint, wave pool=pure bliss.

Flash Flood (20 man boat splash ride, 1 ride 2 cycles at the bridge, 4)-Found at amusement parks the world over, this is a ride that takes you up and then drops you into a large pool thus creating a big splash. What makes this ride unique? Well for one thing shirts and shoes are not required and you are wearing a bathing suit thus eliminating the fear of ruining your day at the park by being wet the rest of the day. Also Noah’s Ark has decided to uninstall the plexiglass placed over the middle of their splash bridge thus giving you the unique opporitunity of getting “punched” by a powerful wall of water. It almost makes the bridge more thrilling then the ride.

Thunder Rapids (1 heavy plastic intertube concrete slide, 1, 1)-I remembered this ride being bad, but deciding I wanted to hit every major slide at the park, I decided to ride it. The ride was worse then I remember, the blue paint is chipping off the ride and thus everyone gets stuck midway down a slide, ouch. Judging by the condition of the ride I expect it to be gone next season with a new ride in its place.

Bermuda Triangle, upper deck (2 person tube slide, 1, 4)-Good ride like its name sake, starts out slow and relaxing and eventually deteriorates to into ocean storm like conditions.

Slidewinders, center slide (body slide, 1, 2)-Every park has ’em, and like every other park it isn’t the best product they put out.

Wave (wave pool, 2 cycles, 4)-Smaller then the Big Kahuna, but still a wave pool, so still a good time.

Next up for me is the big summer coaster trip look for a 2 day CP, 2 day SFWOA, 1 day SFDL, 1 day SFNE and 2 day HP trip report in a couple weeks.

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Summer 03-CP, HP, SFDL, SFNE, SFWOA, and SFGAm.

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Wednesday, June 25, 2003 9:36 AM
Noah's Ark is about the only Waterpark in the country I have much desire to go back to, out of the ones ive been to. Twas a long time ago when I was there, looks like they've added a lot of stuff. Good Report.

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Kennywood Park, America's finest traditional amusement park.
Track Record: 60 coasters at 17 parks.

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Wednesday, June 25, 2003 10:29 AM
There is another within a few hours of Noah's Ark that I find that I have a much better time at usually but the park is MUCH smaller. It is Magic Waters and it is along I-90 just outside of Rockford, IL. If you are in the area I would recommend going to the park. Of notable interest to us is the park does have a Master Blaster!

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Zero G Thrills - Moved and Improved

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Wednesday, June 25, 2003 10:42 AM
My Son and I try to hit NA at least 5 times per season its a good water park but if you ever get the chance go to Schlitterbahn its the best water park ever, we go once a year for two day and we drive all the way from Chicagoland to do so, thats how good it is. Nice TR and its nice to see someone who enjoys water parks as much as me.

Theme Parks & Water Parks, I love this time of year.

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