Man dies at six flags great america

I want people to be sad at my funeral. It means I made a difference.

I dunno, that they're happy could mean the same thing.

I actually want people at my funeral to think "Wow, that guy sure owed me a lot of money."

But if my wife, kids, and friends were happy at my funeral, I would be concerned.

I want 'em to say "What?!? I never knew THAT about him! Honey,... maybe we should leave..."

I've already informed the proper people that once my funeral procession enters open road, they are to race to the cemetery. Run people off the road if necessary.

I'd make a will and include instructions as to how my passing should be marked, but I doubt people would be thrilled with what I have to leave behind: "To Joe, my copy of the Ethel Merman disco album; to Jane, my Wonder Womam bobblehead."

I was executor for a dear friend who knew he was going to die at an early age without much to his name. To my dismay, his attorney let him name each and every one of us in his will to receive certain personal items. Probate was a nightmare and took months, really close to a year. People who lived out of state and didn't have much interest all had to be contacted before they would close the estate, such as it was.
Tip: Name individuals for property, items of value or anything that might be contested. For your little, junky s, leave it all to one person and make sure that person knows the specifications. It's much easier for them to sign off on it and distribute it to the rightful parties if they want the stuff.

RCMAC said:

I want 'em to say "What?!? I never knew THAT about him! Honey,... maybe we should leave..."

Um, well.. We already do that now...

kpjb said:

I've already informed the proper people that once my funeral procession enters open road, they are to race to the cemetery. Run people off the road if necessary.

I'm totally coming to your funeral.

I want my funeral to showcase all of my life passions. Place my body--along with various pieces of my drumsets--in a racecar that's attached to a rollercoaster. A launched shuttle of some sort, where the launch is more powerful than it should be so that it flies off the track at some 300 feet in the air. Then, for added effect (and a nod to old Norse funerals where the body is cremated aboard a flaming Viking ship), skilled archers will shoot flaming arrows at the gas tank as the car careens down the track. The ensuing 300-foot high arc of fire will be spectacular.

Oh, and if someone could open a bran muffin shop in my honor, that would be cool.

I would like to propose a toast to our dearly departed Vater.

My afore-mentioned friend, by the way, lies at rest under Cedar Point's Blue Streak. It was his wish and his sister threw some of his ashes from the back seat. I'm very certain she didn't gain permission from the park to do so, but he's there somewhere.

You're welcome.

Well, as they say, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

I'm going to keep that in mind....

Not when you're dead, it's not.

When I die, I’d like a plaque to be dedicated to me at the former Geauga Lake site.

slithernoggin said:
Well, as they say, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

I'm going to keep that in mind....

I'm thinking of the person scattering the ashes. "Oh, I wasn't supposed to scatter ashes from the lift hill" would be easier than "Oh, can I scatter ashes from the lift hill?" The deed is done...

Raven-Phile said:

When I die, I’d like a plaque to be dedicated to me at the former Geauga Lake site.

What will everyone say about why you bought it? (See what I did there?)

Nothing to add, but I just wanted to say, that was very clever, AAndy, and I approve!