Knoebels is lame - 7/5

Associated parks:
None

Just kidding ;)

My dad and I decided we would head up to Knoebels for our long overdue trip. We only live about an hour and a half away from Knoebels, but we hadn't been there in a couple of years. I was extremely excited to ride Twister and checking out the Phoenix again, as well as the Haunted Mansion. We ended up only staying till 6:00 because my cold was getting the best of me, but I still did everything I wanted to do. Knoebels is awesome, and definately recomended (who hasn't said that before?). If you ever get to visit just one PA park, screw Hershey and Dorney, 'cause Knobels rocks.

Overall: Yeah, Knoebels rocks. What else is there to say? Cheap food, cheap rides, great atmosphere and awesome woodies. Of course they could use a larger and better steel coaster, but who cares? Their collection is fine just the way it is. It's not too large, but they have some of the best woodies ever. The flats are great, ranging from the old to the new. Can't forget the best bumper cars ever either.

Staff: On the rides they were efficent and in the food stands and shops they were friendly. Everybody was awesome, espeically Norma (I think thats what her name was) in the Phoenix Junction.

Wait Times/Crowds: It wasn't terribly crowded, especially for a Saturday. Longest wait was 30 minutes for Twister, and that also includes the time they had to add the 2nd train, and then cycle the trains. With a 2 train operation waits were then around 5-10 minutes. The flats lines were about 5 minutes. The walk ways weren't crowded, but they definately weren't empty. Lines for the Phoenix were around 10 minutes to a walk-on, and Whirlwind was of course a walk-on.

Coasters:

Twister - I'm a huge fan of wooden twisters. I'd take a twister over an airtime machine anyday, so naturally I couldn't wait to ride Twister. I figured this was going to be a huge case of anticipointment, but it turned out that Twister would be my #1 wooden roller coaster. My first ride was great, but my last ride right before dinner was awesome! I sat in the front, and I received 3 points of air. One of them was at the crest of the 2nd hill before the curve, and it was just as good as the air on Phoenix. The rest of the Twister is awesome as it begins the helix and mayhem inside itself. 9.6/10
Best Part: All of it. Rides: 3

Phoenix - The first drop is weak compared to other woodies, but the airtime makes up for that. After all, the Phoenix is an airtime machine that also provides laterals on the turn arounds. I wasn't completely blown away, but it's definately a top 10 ride. If only it had a helix... 9/10
Best Part: Last bunny hills. Rides: 4

Whirlwind - This was actually fun. I didn't experience too much headbanging, but there was some in the corkscrews. However, the bump on the lift before going down the first drop was not cool. It's worth a ride or two though. 5/10.
Best Part: Curve over the station. Rides: 1

Flats:

Flyers - Of course these were 10x better than Hersheys, and they let you snap 'em. :)

Skooters - Best bumper cars ever, period. There's not much else too say.

Flume - I looooved this flume! The themeing wasn't bad and there were 2 good drops. There was also a point where you drop just a little and get a nice dose of water before the 2nd lift. Probably my favorite flume I've ridden.

Skyride - Wow, the view from this thing is awesome! You can see the whole park, plus the mountains around it. Definately worth $3. Don't ride it if you're afraid of heights.

Pioneer Train - Pretty relaxing, and fun. It's neat going underneath the twisted structure of Twister, and then heading far out into the woods.

Grand Carousel - I love carousels, and this one is probably my favorite. Why? Because the horses look great, plus you can catch the brass ring. I think I got about 4-5 of them. :)

Bumper Boats - This is a ton of fun, but it's a little hard to steer the boats. I still liked Skooters better.

Best ride: Twister. Most enthusiasts say it lacks airtime, doesn't live up the Phoenix, blah blah blah. I say, what are you talking about? Twister kicks ass!

Worst Ride: Satellite. I absolutely, hate this ride. It was uncomfortable while going forward, and I was sliding all over my seat. The best part was getting off. I will never ride it again. Tear it down!!

Most suprising ride: Haunted Mansion. I hadn't ridden this since 3rd grade (and I hardly remembered it) so I was really excited to ride it. While not as good as the one at WDW, it certainly wasn't bad. It was actually scary in some parts, mainly with the clown popping out (clowns suck). The ending was also very good. Some advice: don't bring your girlfriends on this ride.

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"If we knew how safe roller coasters were, we'd lose their thrill" - Daniel Keller


*** This post was edited by 3r1c 7/6/2003 12:08:55 PM ***

When reading your title, I was kind of worried what I might read. Thank goodness you were only kidding. Great trip report, glad to hear you had a good time. I live 45 minutes away from Knoebels, and I have not gone there once this year. :( I'll get my chance later this summer though. Oh yeah, what did you think of the horn? Gotta love that... ;)

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Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I

i also got worried there for a minute when I read the title.... it is a great park, and ive been there 4 times this year. I do think Phoenix is better than Twister though, but not by much. If the rumors I heard are true, Knoebel's will be seeing some wood next year.....
You're the second person recently to use a negative title to refer to a well revered park in their trip report just to get people to read the TR (the last was someone who said Busch Gardens Williamsburg Sucks). You may think you're being clever, but, you may get some people thinking "See I told you Harold, it really is lame. We shouldn't go there afterall.", and they don't read the TR at all. A really cool independent park out in the middle of nowhere needs all the customers they can get, or else they will travel to Hershey and Dorney and pass on Knoebels.
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If you have a problem with clones, the solution is real simple—Stop traveling.
Intamin Fan, actually 3r1c wrote the BGW Sucks TR as well. The negative titles are his schtick I suppose. It works though, because regular titles get like 15 views, and this one has like 90 so far...

Anyways, I've never been to Knoebels... it sounds like it's pretty cool though after reading this TR. Looks like a perfect portrait of a typical amusement park. May be worth a visit. :)

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Tales for the L33t

How people can live SO close to Knoebels and rarely go is absolutely beyond me, lol. Anyway, nice trip report, and im happy to see some other Twister fans out there!

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"AHHH!! Oh wait, we didnt drop yet"

nasai's avatar
Besides, do you think that GP read these Trip Reports? Funny way to get people to read your reviews. Nice TR. Now, I have to get to Knoebels. :)
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MarimbaGuy, yeah, the horn freaked me out. The water was pretty cool also. :)

Josh, if they do receive more wood, I hope that it works with the terrain. That'd be awesome.

Intamin Fan, really, do you think some people are going to not visit a park because of a TR title? I mean, how many people can say they didn't visit an amuesment park because of a TR title.

RollerJunkie and Nasai, Knoebels is so worth the visit. You should definately go, it's a nice change from corporate parks. Go there. Now.

Blitzjade, some people make mistakes, and mine was not visiting Knoebels in a couple years. Stupid me.

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"If we knew how safe roller coasters were, we'd lose their thrill" - Daniel Keller

rollergator's avatar
Robbio....I call your first ride on Phoenix....the old PoS may be *lame*, but I still want to see your reaction...:)

bill, WAS suckered in by the cool title....;)
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It seems today, that all you see, are violins in movies, and sax on TV....

All I'm saying is, why do you need a trick title? Shouldn't your TR stand on its own?
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If you have a problem with clones, the solution is real simple—Stop traveling.
Hmmm, usually people think "Oh, it's just another Knoebels TR" and don't even read the actual TR itself. By luring them in, they actually read it, and if they like it they leave comments.

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"If we knew how safe roller coasters were, we'd lose their thrill" - Daniel Keller

I just got back from Knoebels again! It was my 7th time there this summer so far. The only thing that sucks about Knoebels is no season pass and leaving the park. Thats bull people living near Knoebels never visit! :)

What did you think of the High Speed Thrill Coaster? Is it a kiddie coaster or isn't it! Looks are decieving.


Nothing beats the Flyers! Some of the ride ops have been keeping an eye on the "stuntmen" lately. If they see you going too crazy they will slow it down to about half the normal speed. The Skyride incident was enogh bad publicity for the park even if it wasn't their fault. No need for another one I guess.

The Haunted Mansion is a must ride. I must have ridden it at least 100 times. It's pretty bad when you know where all the stunts are and when they go off. Why would you not take your girlfriend on the Haunted Mansion anyway? Dark, two seats, things to scare her. HMMMMMM! I guess it would be pretty embarassing going thru the final doors holding onto her for dear lift! :)

Yet another great Knoebels TR! But then again has there ever been a bad one?


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Signature will be closed today. Sorry for the inconveinance.


coasterpunk said:
What did you think of the High Speed Thrill Coaster? Is it a kiddie coaster or isn't it! Looks are decieving.

I didn't ride it on this trip to Knoebels (yet another bad decision) but last time I rode it a few years ago I went on about 5 times with a bunch of my friends - it's the ultimate kiddie (if you can call it that) coaster.

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"If we knew how safe roller coasters were, we'd lose their thrill" - Daniel Keller

Why do you need to lure people into reading your trip report? People who like the park and people who claim it as their homepark will most likely read the TR. I know I read every last SFA TR. It provides perspective that you don't get being a regular. If you don't get comments, you don't get comments. I know I've enjoyed writing the many trip reports over the years, and if someone replies or doesn't reply, so be it. It's not a popularity contest.
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If you have a problem with clones, the solution is real simple—Stop traveling.
Why are you so upset by the title? It's not a big deal. I never said it was a popularity contest, and I don't really care if I get comments or not. It's just a way to get people to read your TR.

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"If we knew how safe roller coasters were, we'd lose their thrill" - Daniel Keller

*** This post was edited by 3r1c 7/7/2003 3:01:40 PM ***

nasai's avatar
Right on. It's about time you called it.
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boblogone's avatar
Title Troll. :)
Hmmmm....must be hot, humid, sticky, & unbearable in MD. Drink a tea with a nice umbrella, I Fan. And to think I stopped reading the forums for the last few weeks because of the flaming. It was HIS trip report, not yours. (See: 5th Amendment)

BTW: great TR 3r1c. Good stuff.

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There's nothing like a woodie...
*** This post was edited by Woody 7/10/2003 5:29:47 PM ***

Well Nasai and Woody, what do I keep seeing everytime I go to the trip report section, "Knoebels is Lame". Knoebels isn't lame. End of story.
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If you have a problem with clones, the solution is real simple—Stop traveling.
nasai's avatar
Do you own stock or something? Sheesh.... Nobody cares.
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