Kings Island 6/9 or: How our dogs got a hold of raw chicken

Tuesday, June 11, 2013 9:16 AM

We took our three-year-old daughter to Kings Island for the first time Sunday. I know Planet Snoopy is highly regarded but I had never before spent much time there, only really passing through to get to Diamondback or to ride Boo Blasters. We had to scramble in the morning to get out the door in a timely fashion, and of course when you’re in a hurry you’re bound to forget something, and boy did we ever…

We arrived at the park at around 11:30, ate lunch at the car, and headed in. It was a nice day: sun was off and on, temperatures were in the mid 70’s. We rode the carousel next to the Eiffel Tower first, took a quick ride up the tower (I didn’t have enough time to analyze the footers in the construction zone), then headed to Planet Snoopy. We rode pretty much everything that my daughter was tall enough for, and she had a great time. She had ridden her first roller coaster only a week before, so I was glad to see that her delight wasn’t an aberration. She really seems to enjoy amusement rides. She’s not quite tall enough for Flying ACE or Woodstock Express, but The Great Pumpkin Coaster induced plenty of giggles.

Boo Blasters spooked her a little bit, but her parents weren’t any help. We were too busy dueling for the high score. I started off the ride trying to show our daughter how to hold the gun and shoot the ghosts, but my wife was racking up points right off the bat. Well, I couldn’t just let this slide, and our daughter didn’t seem interested in playing along anyway, so I jumped in and started blasting away. I managed to close the gap to under 100, but my wife pulled away in the end.

We spent some time at Soak City, but the clouds started rolling in and it got pretty chilly, so we eventually left and grabbed some dinner just as it started to sprinkle. We went back and rode a few more rides at Planet Snoopy, got a couple of laps on Diamondback (30 minute wait at around 7 pm and then a 15 minute wait at closing), watched the fireworks and headed home. Her favorite ride was Linus’ Beetle Bugs. The high speed whips around the sharp turns had her cracking up. It was a great day, and seeing our daughter experience this stuff for the first time was awesome. The crowds were reasonable, the staff was very friendly, and I was pretty impressed with Planet Snoopy.

So we made the two-hour drive back home, arriving well after midnight, only to discover the cost of rushing to get ready in the morning. Remember how I said that you’re bound to always forget something in a situation like that? Well, we have three dogs that we board up in the kitchen so they can go in and out of the house while we’re gone. We also keep our trash in the kitchen, and unfortunately I had forgotten to a) change the trash, and b) take the trash can out of the kitchen. Either one would’ve saved us. Instead, our ferocious beasts helped themselves to two raw chicken breasts, some leftovers, napkins and paper towels (the Husky’s favorite), and who the hell knows what else. So there we were at 1 am, after a long day at the park, picking up garbage and mopping the floor. After some deliberation, I decided to spare their lives, but believe me it was a difficult decision. They were still breathing as of this morning, so apparently they didn’t ingest a lethal dose of anything. Though I’m not sure anything can take down the Husky; he eats socks.

Note to self: take out the trash next time.

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