Horsemen of the Flag-pocalypse...the signs that will befall you

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 11:22 AM

A fellow Brotherhood of Self-Proclaimed Heroes (BSPH) member, FutureMan in particular, was spotted roaming the local streets yesterday. He was dressed in nothing but a sandwich board that read THE END IS NEAR and was ranting to all who'd pay attention. Musta cheeked his Haldol and given his nurse the slip again...

Anyway, before he was wrestled to the ground and dressed in a soft, safe, comfortable jacket he handed me some sort of goofy pamphlet. Either he had some sort of vision or just read too much Motley Fool, who knows?
But here's what it said:

And I heard thunder and a voice say "Come and see!"

And I saw and behold! A white horse and he that sat on it was Kieran Burke. And gallop quickly the Heck out of Dodge did he. He doth raise his eyes and look! An executive pen and pencil set! Swipeth it he did and shove it in his saddlebags. Raiseth his eyes again he did to his laptop, but slappeth were his fingers with The Pimp Hand. Raiseth his eyes once more he did and said, "Uh, I haveth no clue where Shock and Wave do lie?" And it was cast out after him; as largest of all steel paperweights it was.

Once again I heard thunder and a voice say, "Come and see!"

And I saw and look! A red horse and he that was upon it had a great sword. Spake he, "What the Hades? Who selleth $45 season passes to a park that doth have 16 coasters? Even MiA sells them for 90 bucks!" And he smote the ultra-cheap season pass with great fury.

Once again I heard thunder...but the voice said, "Oh cometh on, thou knowest the routine."

And I beheld and lo! a black horse and the rider boreth a set of scales in his hand.

Sayeth he, "A coaster t-shirt for twenty bucks, and a cup of soda for four. And sayeth no more about passholder discounts...especially the free concerts."

Again the thunder rolled and the voice spake unto me, "Thou really doesn't want to see this, but hey, what are ya gonna do?"

And I saw a Pale Horse, the one seated upon him named Whine, and Cheese followed closely behind. And upon him was given authority to make those staineth of shirt and dorkish of coaster moan and flail and bellyache and foam at the mouth and reek of strangely butter-scented sweat that their local amusement park doth run like a business with bills to pay.

I don't know. Maybe FutureMan was onto something this time...


Wednesday, September 1, 2004 11:29 AM
And Vater hath spewed forth much coffee upon his monitor screen, forthwith.
Wednesday, September 1, 2004 11:33 AM

What an imagination :)

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 11:38 AM
And waaaayyy too much time on his hands!!

But, issued forth from the not-so-frothy mouth of this dorkish of coaster cometh laughter with the cry of "it's about time!"

--Brett, who fully expects $200 season passes for GL or CP next year and can't wait for the SF price announcement ... my money's on a heart attack from RoS and BWFSFA ...

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 12:21 PM
I agree. SFA, SFDL and the other bastard parks that people cry about will probably not get anything until they (SF) get their act together. Oh well. Thank God for booze!

*** Edited 9/2/2004 3:15:21 PM UTC by Antuan***

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 7:14 PM
C'mon, playa, live in the present and stop quoting the King James Six Flags prophacy pamphlet. Can't we get a more modern version?

clint-who totally agrees that he wants to see the look on the faces of the anti-fanboys when the prices go up, and then they can't even afford to go to their home park and b!+ch and complain...


Wednesday, September 1, 2004 9:27 PM
That was hilarious! :)
Thursday, September 2, 2004 10:57 AM
Tekno: Sorry. Would a Booger-green Bible make you happy? ;)
Thursday, September 2, 2004 1:17 PM
Na, those are dis-continued:).

Thursday, September 2, 2004 5:54 PM
i'm... confused...
Friday, September 3, 2004 5:05 AM
Bout what?

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