Associated parks:
Alton Towers, Alton, Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Been a long time since I've done a TR, and being older has given me a *refined *perspective. That is..... y'all truly don't give a $#!t about me or what I did, or ate, or whatever. You read a TR to get a sense of what a park is like, and tips on how you might want to spend your day if you ever go there.
As such, I'm going to just give you the highlights;
The Park - 9.5
- incredibly beautiful, with a giant garden/forest valley nature park right in the middle.
- BIG, but unlike big parks you might have experienced here in the States. Park is split into "pods" with a couple of coasters, a flat ride or two, and a snack shack and a gift shop, and that's about it.
- It's a good 5~10 minute hike between each "pod" with forest and elevation changes, so bring your good walking shoes. Takes an easy 30+ minute walk to get from one end of the park to the other.
- The hours SUCK. As in, usually open 10am-4pm. So, if you want to try to hit everything in a single day, either go on an off-season mid-week day, or pony up for Fasttrack passes.
- It is literally in the middle of nowhere, far from any town or services, on dinky little narrow English roads. Highly recommend staying on-site if you can swing it.
The Coasters
Nemesis Reborn - 9.5
- they say never meet your heroes, as they inevitably let you down. So not the case with Nemesis. It is amazing!!!
- good speed, great forces, and even better visuals.
- Definitely go for the front row if you can. Early in the day they managed the queue, but later on it was possible to wait a little for the front.
- theming is top-notch Disney/Universal level. The station creature is cool as hell.
- only thing keeping it from perfect is it's a bit too short.
Galactica - 7
- as it's the first B&M flyer, I didn't expect much, but some fun elements.
- surprising part was the big turn on your back after the half barrel roll. Thought only Vekoma Flying Dutchmen did moves like that.
- even though it had a re-theme from "Air" to "Galactica", still kinda "CF/6 Flags" weak.
Wicker Man - 9
- amazing theming/vibe, including a cool little pre-show.
- fun laterals and turns, with some great pops of air.
- great in-and-out moments through the Wicker Man statue itself.
Runaway Mine Train - 5
- powered Mack train, so no real drops/air to speak of.
- really cool interaction with the river raft ride in the tunnel.
- great ride for families / small kids. As such, if you're over 5'8", ride solo.
- for those that know..... "Chooooo! Chooooo!"
The Smiler - 10
- this coaster is bat-$#!t bonkers! I would put it up with X/X2 and Time Traveler as the craziest coasters I've ever been on.
- *spoiler* - cool slow barrel roll before the first lift.
- extremely well-paced, as the second vertical lift hill comes in after 7 inversions and gives you a chance to breathe before the final 7.
- crazy fenced-in queue underneath the ride that feels like you are in a prison/hamster maze. No line jumping possible here!
Oblivion - 7
- once again, a B&M prototype, so it's a bit on the short and tame side.
- best long-distance view in the whole park from the top of the lift hill.
- proof that Dive Machines are best when they go into a tunnel. Great observation plaza all around the first drop that still draws a small crowd of onlookers.
Rita - 7
- great launch right out of the minimalist station, but that's the main highlight.
- kinda just wanders around with big swooping turns after that. Think Xcelerator without the tophat.
- could really use the upgraded softer-vest OTSRs.
Thirteen - 6
- really smooth, with some nice drops for a family coaster.
- MCBR / show building and on is the best part.
Spinball Whizzer - n/a (down for re-theming I think)
Octonauts RollerCoaster Adventure - n/a (I don't try for kiddie coasters)
Other Rides
Nemesis Sub-Terra
- great walk-through + ride experience themed as a gov't station researching the Nemesis creature. DO NOT MISS. Compliments the storyline of Nemesis Reborn very well.
Curse of Alton Manor
- really well done dark-ride haunted house. Good animatronics, and a bit of a darker edge than your usual amusement park ride.
Skyride - SBNO
- would have loved to have gotten on this to get some aerial views, but according to the sign at each station, they are spending a fair amount of coin to refurbish it back to life.
Overall, Alton Towers is an amazing place, and a unique gem amongst amusement parks. It's definitely worth making the journey to go visit. If you can't go on an off-day, I'd highly recommend planning on spending two-days there so that you can see and ride everything.
That's all I've got for now....
Later,
EV
Nice. Still on my bucket list. Did you drive yourself? How was that? I’m about to rent a car in Ireland next year and I’m a little nervous about driving on the other side.
My kid wants to go to Alton Towers because he's seen it on the YouTube, just not sure I want to spend a day in the UK just to do that. Also, I like hearing what people eat at parks.
Jeff - Editor - CoasterBuzz.com - My Blog
First off, Alton Towers is such an incredible park. Absolutely loved it and will for sure return on a future trip again.
eightdotthree:
Nice. Still on my bucket list. Did you drive yourself? How was that? I’m about to rent a car in Ireland next year and I’m a little nervous about driving on the other side.
I was also nervous before our trip earlier this year to England, it was also my first time driving on the 'wrong' side of the road. But honestly, after about 5-10 minutes your brain just kind of gets it. I found it pretty easy, outside of the traffic mess with endless multi-lane roundabouts and such we hit going through Birmingham... But 95% of the other driving was easy. We flew into Manchester originally (used train the first few days to/from Blackpool and Chester), then then picked up the car and spent a few days driving over to York and down to Birmingham, with park stops at Flamingoland, Alton Towers and Thorpe before we dropped the car off at Heathrow.
Oh, and people can drive a lot better of there than here in the US, so that helps. Oh, and don't speed. They have speed cameras and pace video surveillance type deals all over the place.
But yeah, it's really not bad. Just get an automatic even if you can drive manual just to reduce the mental workload a bit. Don't sweat it if you are a half way decent driver.
I won’t add much because it’s all basically been covered above. If you haven’t gone, find a way to go. Only gripe I’ll give Alton is their food is just whatever. The rest of the park is awesome. Leave yourself time to wander the gardens they are really awesome.
Also, if Alton is a 9.5/10 then the German parks are 15/10.
Agreed on the food. It's pretty bad, even at the hotels (breakfast was fine, though, but typical).
We ended up going into town to a local pub and getting much better food and a few beers... Plus, it just made for a nice way to burn some time after their 4pm closure.
Also, agreed on the Alton (or more so, UK parks) v. German parks... It's unreal how good both Phantasialand and Europa are... I always think of Europa pretty much like Disney, but better in many ways, while Phantasialand reminds me a lot of IOA, but even a few steps better in theming... Then throw in the much better food, overall pricing and amazing hotels... It's an entire package. <3 Germany.
But Alton is still a really great property on it's own and well worth a visit, it's a really great park with some top notch attractions. The gardens are amazing, too, as mentioned above.
I'm very excited to be doing Alton Towers (and a few other bucket list parks) next summer and I appreciate your review! I've heard the UK parks are not open in the evenings and that makes it difficult to do everything.
Driving
- don't stress over driving on the opposite side too much, you get used to it pretty quickly.
- if you do rent a car, make sure you get one with Android Auto or Apple CarPlay to help you navigate. I have no idea how anyone found Alton Towers in the old paper map days (it's that well hidden).
- I found driving stick with my left hand to be a fun challenge, but if you want an Automatic, be aware that most rental places charge more for it.
Food
- due to the limited operating hours, I highly recommend eating a big breakfast before the park opens, have a quick snack for lunch, and then plan on a nice dinner after the park has closed.
- agreed that the food at the park was meh. While I thought the breakfast buffet at the on-site hotel was nice (sausages, back bacon, eggs, croissants, etc.), the chicken tenders from the spot next to Oblivion that we got for lunch were very McD's/6 Flags.
- Tried to have dinner at the RollerCoaster restaurant inside the park above Galactica's station, but alas it went down midday and never opened back up. If you want to try it out, make sure to make reservations for dinner, as they fill up quickly.
- As such, we wound up hitting a nice pub for dinner with really good food/beer in the nearby village of Alton that was recommended by some locals we met;
https://bullsheadinnalton.co.uk/
Germany vs. England
- Only been to one German park (PhantasiaLand) and one Dutch park (Toverland). Agree that PhantasiaLand is on a whole different level. Whereas at Alton a large number of the rides were themed but most of the park was not, PhantasiaLand is a completely immersive experience. Everything in that park is designed and beautiful. The Klugheim area with Taron and Raik is utterly amazing.
Later,
EV
Also to add, buy your tickets for those parks early. Alton typically runs discounts, Phantasialand runs huge discounts early before the season starts. I don't recall Europa discounting much, but I combined those with a hotel stay for a better rate. Europa and Phantasialand hotels are immaculate and insanely themed. Also Phantasialand does not sell tickets onsite, so if you did not prebook you aren't going.
Food at Phantasialand and Europa are not Michelin star, well maybe Eatrenalin might be in that realm, but their food is very good and worth sampling.
I want to go back to Europa for a few days to spend time at the waterpark and the hotel and the spa, they have a full resort with everything you could want onsite. Kind of like a mouse themed park over here.
Alton has amazing rides, that height restriction has certainly made them get creative. They have a couple firsts for ride type, an insanely awesome invert, the skyride was down when I was there for renovations, but it looks like one of the best skyrides I've ever seen.
Just be warned, once you see the park offerings over there, it makes most stuff here feel depressing because of what it could be.
EchoVictor:
- I found driving stick with my left hand to be a fun challenge, but if you want an Automatic, be aware that most rental places charge more for it.
Man, I wish the US would do this. Or at the very least, OFFER manuals.
I have a friend with a mid-90s Toyota HIACE truck (RHD) imported from Japan. I haven't tried driving it, but I'd like to. Don't think it would take too long to get used to it.
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