31 Amusement Park Canons

For your amusement. . .


A Spin columnist goes to Cedar Point. I'm guessing this would be the place to post this as it's really not news (apologies in advance if I'm wrong).

rollergator's avatar
5. Don't be the dude who knows way too much about the roller coaster and tries to impress everyone who is miserably waiting in line. "The g-forces on this ride are the equivalent of being fired into space while trying to play an oboe at the same time," he'll say. Really, an oboe? Please be quiet and go back to reading your Fangoria magazine.

14. At some point, pause and survey your surroundings. Yep, these are the people who elect the president of the United States.

Those two were *essential* to post here...

Gotta love this one
19. If someone skips you in line, it is statutorily permissible to slap them in the face with your cinnamon and sugar funnel cake. Seriously, statutorily permissible, I'm a lawyer.
31. After you have spent the day at the amusement park, you may be tempted to believe the following five things are trendy and cool: Wristbands, hats turned just a little askew, jerseys, shorts that reveal the lower tier of your behind and hairspray.

OMG, I named my last TR, The Indiana Wristband tour.

OK, Im a geek.

In my 15 years, I don't think I have seen an oboe being played. Ever.

I agree. Do not wear other parks' clothes. Do wear sports teams you are proud of. Wear Steelers shirts proudly, and tease Cleveland fans in Ohio, and tease NY and Philly fans at Great Adventure.

If you bring a picnic lunch in with coolers, fine.Take them to the picnic areas. Not to the food court seats, or anywhere else there are seats for 'paying customers'.

If you are from the Indian Ocean area, there is absolutely zero reason for your 85 year old grandmother to push along a oversized stroller with a cooler, thermos jugs, piggly wiggly bags, 3 sets of clothes, and small appliances through the park. Just bumpup the gas price a few more pennies and pay to eat.

Just some thoughts.

Kick The Sky's avatar
23. The amusement park is not a sporting event. No one is coming to root for or against the amusement park. So you really don't need to come dressed in your logoed amusement park apparel.

Certain victory.

I don't think I've ever seen an oboe at a park. Seen a few hobo's, though.

Great Lakes Brewery Patron...


I don't see the problem with wearing other parks' shirts. I think it's nerdy to wear that parks' shirts. We already know you are a fan of the park because you're here.
Raven-Phile's avatar
I think park shirts in general are pretty bad. Unless it's Disney, because everyone loves Disney, eand even then you gotta be careful.

I've seen some pretty hideously overdone Disney shirts, too.
Keep it simple, like a Mickey logo'd polo shirt or something and you'll be fine. :)

Lord Gonchar's avatar
What kind of hobby is this when wearing a shirt with a cartoon mouse on it is the reasonable choice? ;)

Well I absoluetly loved sporting a Raven shirt at Lake Compounce.

Brought up a lot of conversation :)

While you were P&M-ing about my T-shirt from another park, the line just moved up 20 feet (#2). Wake up, or I'll have to slap you with my funnel cake.
I only have to park/coaster shirts and those are only because they both rule and I wear them whenever I get a chance not just to amusement parks. A Powder Keg shirt and a Six Flags St. Louis Shirt that says "its play time" and has Mr. Six on it.
I can't comprehend how it is that people are paid to be ignorant assholes.


I agree with Charles. Wearing other park shirts, polos or tees, seem to start conversations with other folks in line. That can take care of some of the boredom of waiting in line.

This one should have popped up in that other thread where we were discussing b-balls.

3. By all means, feel free to play the game where you attempt to make an over-inflated basketball into a hoop the size of Nicole Ritchie's waist. But please, whatever you do, don't dribble the ball between your legs or go behind your back before you shoot. Hey Iverson, no one is guarding you and you're going to miss anyway. *** Edited 8/22/2006 7:09:40 PM UTC by Coasterbuzzer***

Yes Yes they do. They do start convos. :) Hey CB just noticed he didn't mention bouncing it after winning it that can get annoying too. *** Edited 8/22/2006 7:13:46 PM UTC by TonyBlackjack***
Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't mention that at all. I think that is more annoying than his original point was.
ApolloAndy's avatar

Chernabog said:
I can't comprehend how it is that people are paid to be ignorant assholes.

Because all kinds of people to read what they write, wishing they could get paid to be ignorant assholes.

Hobbes: "What's the point of attaching a number to everything you do?"
Calvin: "If your numbers go up, it means you're having more fun."

lol that was hillarious :)

thanks for sharing

Hit me again GoodBear, That was delicious!

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